Help, I might have a humper

[fruitloop]

So I noticed my soon to be 2yrs dcg laying on the couch with a doll and she has the doll down under her and her hips were moving slightly. Then about 10 minutes later it was sleep time and I put her in her bed and she did the same thing with her stuffy she sleeps with. This is a total new thing for her, I've never seen her do it before. I know this is a normal thing and all kids go through something like this. So, anyone who has or has had a humper in d/c...did you talk to the parents about this to see if she was doing it at home? I'm not really sure how to even bring that up, lol.

[dodge__driver11]

Ummm for me--as I have worked with children from all walks of life and abuse situations it would be a huge red flag for me, and I would approach the parents about it--I haven't had anyone in my dayhome, but have seen all sorts of redflags for abuse, and this is one... Maybe call them and ask if she has been doing this at home? Don't be affraid to say you are a tad embarassed about it, but be honest.

[Judy Trickett]

Like I said on the other forum, Fruitloop - I could NOT deal with that at all. It wigs me out. And, quite frankly any 'sexual things' by kids while in my care make me leery and worry me that they might be taken as something happening here in my care by a parent who stumbles across their kid humping something at home. I don't like the risk it presents.

[KingstonMom]

Ummm for me--as I have worked with children from all walks of life and abuse situations it would be a huge red flag for me, and I would approach the parents about it--I haven't had anyone in my dayhome, but have seen all sorts of redflags for abuse, and this is one... Maybe call them and ask if she has been doing this at home? Don't be affraid to say you are a tad embarassed about it, but be honest.

I disagree. I do not think this is a huge red flag situation at all. I have a dcg who did this with her stuffies, or just with nothing on the floor while watching tv. She outgrew it after a couple months. Children are discovering their bodies and what may feel 'different'.

I think you may suspect other signs of abuse before the humping may arise. Behaviourial issues, problems at home that you may be aware of, change in mood, etc are all other signs of abuse and would not jump to assumptions just because of one little hump!

fruitloop, I dont think this is absolutly necessary worth mentioning to the parents. Like I said, my dcg outgrew it and hasnt done it since. I do not believe she is harming herself or others and is just exploring her body....normal. You know the girl better than us and would have other signs if abuse was really going on at home or otherwise. NOT fair to assume this is why the girl is a sudden humper!!

Maybe ask the little girl straight our what she is doing, she what she says.... could be funny to hear lol

[dodge__driver11]

true, but I would ask about it.

[sunnydays]

The only reason I would bring it up with the parents is because of what Judy mentioned. I would rather tell the parents first so that they don't think she is learning it at daycare/being abused. That is the reason it would pose a problem for me too...paranoid I guess, but for good reason. You may want to ask the parents how they are dealing with it at home (ie. ignoring, stopping it)...that will give you a way to bring up the topic and also you should let them know that to your knowledge it is normal.

[fruitloop]

Ya, I've never seen her do it here before so this is a new thing...here anyway. I just don't know to really bring that up ya know I won't be terming them over this, it's normal, I really like this family and dcg, and so far she doesn't do it all the time. I also don't want the others learning that from her either though. I don't see/believe that any abuse is happening either.

[mom-in-alberta]

I would likely bring it up VERY casually... "haha, I've noticed So-and-so doing this. Does she do it at home? If you like, I can interrupt the behaviour, but I am not worried about it."
Just to get it talked about for the same reasons the others mentioned. But unless it becomes an all the time thing, I wouldn't stress.

[Lou]

It is 100% normal, especially at that age. If it bothers you, then I would simply redirect the child to something else but don't make them feel ashamed or embarrassed (not that you would!).

[fruitloop]

Well, I brought it up with dcmom at p/u last night. She said she has been doing it at home at bed time for about 3 weeks now. I'm not worried about it, she hasn't done it at all today that I've seen so it's all good