Carla, I'm well aware that children can serve themselves as I've worked many years in formal childcare, however in my small setting I serve it for them. And no, the children do not get "rewarded" for eating their food, dessert is a rare event around here, I just happened to have baked cookies with the kids the day before so it was a nice treat for them. You might want to try responding to posts with a little less attitude and a little more helpful advice, thanks!

I approached lunch a little differently today, since I do not have the time or patience to wait until he finished, I gave them 30 minutes for lunch, gave them a 5 minute warning towards the end and cheerfully said "ok, lunch is over now!". He was trying veggies that he didn't love, but I was very proud of him for trying and let him know that too. I hadmentionedit to his parents the day before, they had a talk with him and his day has all around been so muchbetter today, yay!!!
Thank you all for the great advice/support!