4 yrs old Meal Time Issue

[Lou]

Hi ladies!
I was hoping for some helpful suggestions. I've taken on a temporary contract of 4 yrs old twins for 3 months. They are our next door neighbours which makes the situation increasingly awkward to discuss with the parents/our friends.
The rule at my house (and please let me know if you think I'm being unreasonable), is that they must finish their meal before they can go play and if there is something that they REALLY dislike that must at least try a bite before they can be finished.
All of the kids have no issues with this rule and usually clean their plates anyways! Well, one of the 4 yrs olds (they started tihs week), is having a terrile time really following any of the house rules. We are working on this, but it's the meal time that's really getting my feathers ruffled. The veggie in today's lunch was yellow peppers...he ate everything else and pushed his plate away and said "I don't like peppers". So I responded saying that it's great to try new things and so to take a bite and he can go play. Well, the kids one by one all around him finished, got their small dessert, then went to play and he just sat their making ridiculous whining noises. I reminded him a few times that all he needs to do is take one bite and then he can be all done. So while the kids played, he sat for about 10 minutes after everyone had left the table. So I sat with him and explained the rules again, and why it's important to eat our vegetables, etc and he full out burst into tears and started screaming!!! I'm guessing that this is a fine way for him to get his way at home so I didn't relent but after 10 minutes of a full out 4 yrs old tantrum,I removed him from the table, told him that he wasn't getting dessert today and put him in our cozy corner to calm himself down. I HATE that I gave in, HATE IT!!! But it went on for so long that I had to put the littles to bed, and he couldn't be screaming while they're trying to sleep. After he calmed down, we discussed again and he apologized (another thing we are working on because he acts like a baby when we are problem solving/apologizing.) This isn't the first time either that he's given me a very hard time during meals, just the first time it ended in a full blown tantrum.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
I think my "rule" is reasonable...exposin g them to different tastes, and healthy foods. One bite is reasonable to me and all of the other kids.
Any helpful hints?? Or anyone been in the same situation???

[Sandbox Sally]

I think your rule is reasonable too. I don't have any pearls of wisdom on this one, but I will offer a virutal hug. I think that he might think twice next time, especially after the cosy corner. Day by day...deep breaths. lol

[sunnydays]

Although I do think your rule is reasonable, I am not sure that I would be bothered with it for a temporary care situation. I guess it depends if the other kids notice and complain (depends on their ages), but I wouldn't force him to try it if he's eaten his other food. I actually just serve 2-3 items for a lunch and they eat what they want and leave what they don't like. I like your rule, but wouldn't have the energy to force picky toddlers to try things they don't eat at home

[playfelt]

Making a toddler try a new food is one thing but at what point do you allow a child to determine that they really don't like a certain food or type of texture and be able to say no thank you - these are 4 year olds afterall. That is a lot of trying potentially.

I don't have the take a bit rule but I do have the finish what is on your plate before dessert since that is an extra for those that are still hungry and not one of the basic food groups on their plate. After the last child that is going to has eaten, been cleaned up and left the table, I just declare the meal over and too late to finish eating. The plate is removed and the child is washed and sent off. I don't force them to eat, but don't reward them for not eating either. Everyone comes to the table and is served a plate of food and is free to eat, stare at it, whatever just not toss it, dump it, or play in it - if you are over 18 months. They also have to sit politely and just look at it - playing and it gets removed - it is a meal not a toy.

As mentioned for 3 months I wouldn't push it. But one reminder that we eat and then get dessert is all that is necessary. Then if he is the last one at the table which he likely will be every day, clean up around him and then say ok fine meal done. Then let him go. The others won't know he didnt' take a bite.

[KingstonMom]

I think I am a bit more leanient on this topic of food.
Today we had hot dogs for lunch (it was a quiet movie day and I didnt feel like the hassle of a big lunch and thought everybody liked hotdogs (as they did last time we had them)
4yr old girl decides that she no longer likes hotdogs. no problem, my son ate hers and I made her a peanut biutter sandwich.
I have no problem with kids not liking something, and I do offer to make up a quick something else for them. I dont care if they dont eat their veg I offered, but I do always offer a vegetable with every meal and/or snack.
Alot of food gets thrown out here, and I wish I had a dog to eat the scraps!
I couldnt be bothered fighting with kids to eat their food, thats just me. I never offer a treat or dessert here, so theres no real reward to finish their meal. The odd time I will re-serve their lunch in place of their afternoon snack if they didnt touch it and I know for a fact they like the lunch I served.

I agree that for the 3 months they are here, whatever, praise the kids who do finish their plates, and hope they dont notice when others dont!

[carla]

Children only control 2 things in this world what they eat and when they go to the washroom. Why reward eating everything with a "treat" do you serve the food or do they self serve? Please do not say it is not doable because it is we do it with 91 daycare kids. What if a child really does not like a food and you make him have one bite and he throws up( have seen it happen) if someone were to tell me to have one bite of a Brussels sprout I would puke. If you are offering all healthy food then does it matter if he had one bite of pepper. Afternoon snack could be a veggie plate. offer yellow peppers every couple days and
Maybe he will like them one day

[playfelt]

Carla do you mean your one and two year olds self serve? When you have 5 kids at a table there is no sense in wasting bowls for two of the five to self serve since they would only get what was left over from me serving the infants and toddlers anyways. The little ones can't even manage their own spoon to feed themselves let alone use a serving spoon. Really not sure that is appropriate in most home care situations unless you have no under twos.

[mom-in-alberta]

I wouldn't make him eat it personally. My rule is: I make it, I serve it, you choose whether you will eat it. Each snack has two food groups and each snack has a protein, a carb and a veg/fruit. That usually allows enough choice that if someone doesn't like one thing, at least they won't starve.
I do enforce the rule that you must finish your plate before you have seconds, or dessert (which we don't usually have at lunch anyway). Otherwise everyone eats just the noodles, and doesn't touch the meatballs or the veggies. Not fair. That is also the reason that I will dish up the kids plates, as well.
I would keep offering it... what do they say, sometimes it takes 6 or 8 exposures to a new food before a child will decide they like it? But I have told parents that I will not "force" their child to eat something. Man alive; I don't get paid enough to deal with that kind of anxiety (mine or the child's!).

[dodge__driver11]

For me, and my dayhome, I just serve things..If they dont eat them ok, then I serve it a different way and see what happens. For example....If they do not like peas I hide them in a stew, if they don't like peppers I chop them in a stirfry...Just keep offering and get creative, I often puree my vegiies and mix them in with something when kids protest and they don't even notice what I do LOL

[Crayola kiddies]

I think I would not force it since the child is only there for 3 months and I would just not put it on his plate As I hate throwing out food and the other kids would probably not notice .... You don't most likely don't get paid enough for the hassle and since they are your neighbors and you have to live near them you don't want any issues if the child goes home and says you are forcing him to eat what he doesn't like.....