Dirty diapers...how do you deal?

[Skysue]

I'm sorry, but that kid is WAY to old to be doing that. Maybe they should take him to the doctor or something. He may have an issue. I don't get paid enough to deal with a 4 year old who is choosing to crap his pants.

Another question I have is why is he stil wearing a pull up?

[Marie]

Another question I have is why is he stil wearing a pull up?

I asked that he wear one. It was either that or he would go in his underwear and I really didn't want to have to deal with that! His mom said at home and preschool he only wears underwear but has accidents all the time, so as soon as I heard that I asked that he wear a pull-up here.

[playfelt]

On the 4 year old wiping - back in the old days, lol,you taught them to just reach through their legs as far as they could and swipe and then washed off the hands till they got the hang of it. Then, someone came up with this idea that we needed to wipe front to back so we didn't transfer germs well not easy to teach and some parents just won't let the kid learn to do it themselves. The fact it was ok for them to poop and sit in it and get it all over the whole butt front and back and once toileting it suddenly becomes an issue - have a parent bordering on the paranoid on the germ transfer issue and expects me to always wipe the child. Child is 3 and I would prefer they did it and I "checked" just like we do with tooth brushing in kids but you can thank some medical/scientific team for scaring the parents on another issue. And yes child will go to school and just not bother wiping cause he wasn't allowed to learn.

[fruitloop]

I know, isn't that just ridiculous?! In my care, when you learn to use the toilet, you also learn to wipe your butt because I'm NOT gonna do it for you. That's the whole point of potty training...so you don't have to change and constantly wipe them. Otherwise...why potty train at all. I make them wipe (or try to wipe) and then I check it for them. Not wiping after you poop is disgusting!

As for the 4 year old pooping in his pants, that's just as ridiculous imo. They obviously aren't potty training right and the child is using this as a control thing (which I don't really get but kids are weird sometimes). They need to give him consequences for his actions...like cleaning himself up or put him back in a baby diaper and call it that. He is FULLY capable of telling someone he has to go to the bathroom. Unless this was a medical problem, I wouldn't of even accepted him into care based on that alone.

[sunnydays]

I have a friend with a 4 year old who is going to JK already and he is not trained. she has tried everything she can think of, but he refuses to try. She tried putting him in underwear only and he didn't seem to mind peeing and pooping in his pants. This is just to say that sometimes parents have a very ahrd time....my friend is a wonderful mother and she tries very hard to do what is right...but she is at a loss with this one. On the poop issue...yes, other kids' poop is much stinkier than my own...sometimes I feel like gagging too...but I just get through it as fast as possible. I don't use gloves, but I wash with soap and water immediately after.

[MamaMel]

Poopy diapers don't really bother me!
Everyone poops.... I also don't think its a huge deal that he's four and still poops in his pull up. Is it all the time, or was it a slip up? Does it happen when he's nervous?

I remember when I used to have exams for school... I would always get what I like to call "Sick bum", and I was 25 and still thought I might crap my pants! Maybe its a nervous thing! Maybe its a parenting issue, maybe he's just not ready...??

Just put your gloves on, hold your breath, say a little prayer, and go as fast as you can! I have a girl who uses cloth diapers.. I not only have to change her, but I then have to clean our her diaper. It's not a big thing for me though.. I have a high gross tolerance!

[sunnydays]

Most of my dck's as well as my own daughter are in cloth...it isn't any worse really...at least it goes home at the end of the day

Poopy diapers don't really bother me!
Everyone poops.... I also don't think its a huge deal that he's four and still poops in his pull up. Is it all the time, or was it a slip up? Does it happen when he's nervous?

I remember when I used to have exams for school... I would always get what I like to call "Sick bum", and I was 25 and still thought I might crap my pants! Maybe its a nervous thing! Maybe its a parenting issue, maybe he's just not ready...??

Just put your gloves on, hold your breath, say a little prayer, and go as fast as you can! I have a girl who uses cloth diapers.. I not only have to change her, but I then have to clean our her diaper. It's not a big thing for me though.. I have a high gross tolerance!

[Cadillac]

Some kids smell worse than others. I had this one little girl. My god, I didn't know that I HAD a gag reflex until this kid. I would pre-spray a bedroom with fabreeze . . . then take her in and change her holding my breath as long as I could. The fabreeze would help if I thought I might pass out

But all jokes aside I have a suggestion for the 'I won't poop on the potty' thing: I had a little one who should have been fully trained before she came and was not. So I used stickers: 1 sticker for a pee (or a good try) and two for a poo. As was out off training pants in two days.

At first you can attribute the refusal to poop as a fear or just being uncomfortable doing it the potty but then there is a point where it has become a power struggle. They won't do it because they just don't want to. At this point stickers are not going to work, and consequences need to be put into place. Pooping in the toilet becomes a rule. and like all other rules, if they are not followed, there are consequences. What I did was talk to the parent about the new rule that goes for my house and thiers (which they whole heatedly agreed to). When she pooped in her pants, she would be cleaned up and then serve a time out. She was pooping the toilet a day later and has not had ONE accident. Now I see how people can twist this as it is a rule of thumb not to make children feel bad about, or punish, accidents. But a refusal to use the potty is not an accident but a choice the child has made.

Hope this helps

[mom-in-alberta]

Hmmm.... so much to talk about on this icky thread. LoL
First; other kids poops= bleccchhhh. (I am not sure how to spell that noise, but you get the gist)!! And some kids totally smell worse than others. I had one little guy whose mom insisted he needed extra iron. His poops were soooooo stinky. The only good thing was that they were also rock hard like little pebbles, so didn't need 478 wipes to clean up!!
When I was pregnant, and therefore gagging at just the IDEA of some odors; I would take a tissue and stuff it up my nose. If it was going to be really bad (you can tell, right?!?) I would also put a dab of Vicks Vaporub into my nose. Hey, it works for coroners and medical examiners, right?

On the idea of a 4 year old not pooping: I also think that if medical issues have been ruled out, and all the kinder, gentler methods have not worked (ie; stickers and rewards, etc) then it's time to crack down. If it is known that the child CAN use the potty, and it's not a terror issue (some kids get phobias), then it has definitely become a control issue. Honestly, I don't think I would do a diaper (or poopy pull up) for a kid that age. Flat out gross. I don't see any schools letting a child that age wear diapers, either. My cut off is more like 3, which I know can be a little early for some, but I personally think that 3 is PLENTY old enough to use the toilet.

As for not wiping the bum; if mom and dad haven't taught that, then I damn sure would be!! I get it if they are little (like, 2!) and just started the potty thing. I remember my oldest sitting in the bathroom yelling "Mooooommmmm! I need a wipey bum". (Awww, that seems like so long ago now, *sniff*). But it becomes a necessity, no??? A collleague of my husbands brought his kid to the office one time, and he went to the washroom and shortly afterward started yelling for his dad. Turns out, he needed dad to come in and wipe his bum. He was 6!!!!!! I was beyond disgusted.

[fruitloop]

Some kids smell worse than others. I had this one little girl. My god, I didn't know that I HAD a gag reflex until this kid. I would pre-spray a bedroom with fabreeze . . . then take her in and change her holding my breath as long as I could. The fabreeze would help if I thought I might pass out

But all jokes aside I have a suggestion for the 'I won't poop on the potty' thing: I had a little one who should have been fully trained before she came and was not. So I used stickers: 1 sticker for a pee (or a good try) and two for a poo. As was out off training pants in two days.

At first you can attribute the refusal to poop as a fear or just being uncomfortable doing it the potty but then there is a point where it has become a power struggle. They won't do it because they just don't want to. At this point stickers are not going to work, and consequences need to be put into place. Pooping in the toilet becomes a rule. and like all other rules, if they are not followed, there are consequences. What I did was talk to the parent about the new rule that goes for my house and thiers (which they whole heatedly agreed to). When she pooped in her pants, she would be cleaned up and then serve a time out. She was pooping the toilet a day later and has not had ONE accident. Now I see how people can twist this as it is a rule of thumb not to make children feel bad about, or punish, accidents. But a refusal to use the potty is not an accident but a choice the child has made.

Hope this helps

Hmmm.... so much to talk about on this icky thread. LoL
First; other kids poops= bleccchhhh. (I am not sure how to spell that noise, but you get the gist)!! And some kids totally smell worse than others. I had one little guy whose mom insisted he needed extra iron. His poops were soooooo stinky. The only good thing was that they were also rock hard like little pebbles, so didn't need 478 wipes to clean up!!
When I was pregnant, and therefore gagging at just the IDEA of some odors; I would take a tissue and stuff it up my nose. If it was going to be really bad (you can tell, right?!?) I would also put a dab of Vicks Vaporub into my nose. Hey, it works for coroners and medical examiners, right?

On the idea of a 4 year old not pooping: I also think that if medical issues have been ruled out, and all the kinder, gentler methods have not worked (ie; stickers and rewards, etc) then it's time to crack down. If it is known that the child CAN use the potty, and it's not a terror issue (some kids get phobias), then it has definitely become a control issue. Honestly, I don't think I would do a diaper (or poopy pull up) for a kid that age. Flat out gross. I don't see any schools letting a child that age wear diapers, either. My cut off is more like 3, which I know can be a little early for some, but I personally think that 3 is PLENTY old enough to use the toilet.

As for not wiping the bum; if mom and dad haven't taught that, then I damn sure would be!! I get it if they are little (like, 2!) and just started the potty thing. I remember my oldest sitting in the bathroom yelling "Mooooommmmm! I need a wipey bum". (Awww, that seems like so long ago now, *sniff*). But it becomes a necessity, no??? A collleague of my husbands brought his kid to the office one time, and he went to the washroom and shortly afterward started yelling for his dad. Turns out, he needed dad to come in and wipe his bum. He was 6!!!!!! I was beyond disgusted.

Thank you both! Amen! That kid needs to get trained!