I know, isn't that just ridiculous?! In my care, when you learn to use the toilet, you also learn to wipe your butt because I'm NOT gonna do it for you. That's the whole point of potty training...so you don't have to change and constantly wipe them. Otherwise...why potty train at all. I make them wipe (or try to wipe) and then I check it for them. Not wiping after you poop is disgusting!

As for the 4 year old pooping in his pants, that's just as ridiculous imo. They obviously aren't potty training right and the child is using this as a control thing (which I don't really get but kids are weird sometimes). They need to give him consequences for his actions...like cleaning himself up or put him back in a baby diaper and call it that. He is FULLY capable of telling someone he has to go to the bathroom. Unless this was a medical problem, I wouldn't of even accepted him into care based on that alone.