Would you terminate

[michellesmunchkins]

Hi Everyone,

Looking for some advice from providers on whether or not you would terminate care. Some of the basics include: providing care for 2.5 year old twins. They have been with me for 5 months now 3 days per week. Their behaviour is out of control almost every day. Originally Mom said it was separation anxiety, but I do not believe it was that at all. They are very mean to the other children in care, to each other as well as wilfully destructive to the toys in my home. When they are told not to do something or asked to do something they have complete meltdowns, screaming to the point where the girl twin throws up all over my house. Mom, is very difficult to deal with. She blames everything on all the other children and never accepts responsibility for her own children and their behaviours. I have a rule for no outside food/drink yet she shows up 2 out of 3 days with Mcdonalds breakfast for her children or popcorn (which I don't allow at all because the little ones could choke on it). I have addressed this issue with her, as well as sending out a reminder to ALL my daycare families that outside food/drink just causes issues. She chooses to ignore it all and continues to bring it. She blames me and my house and the other children if her children get sick. She will text me saying "who did you let come to daycare sick, my child is sick now" and things along those lines. This morning her children had a complete temper tantrum being dropped off and she said it was because a child was mean to them yesterday. The child she is blaming stuff on wasn't even here yesterday. I'm very frustrated and think termination is pretty much where I am at...what would everyone else do? This was just a brief explanation of her and her children...there is lots more! Thanks in advance to anyone who can advise

[Bookworm]

You could do one of two things. Straight out tell the mom that things need to change. Tell her specifically what needs to be done in order for you to continue care for her children.
Or, you could just terminate them without confronting her again about what is going on. Sounds like you are ready to terminate them anyways.

[Spixie33]

Whoa nelly. If someone was crying to the point of vommitting then I would have to terminate. That is more than I could deal with....especially because it sounds like it is an ongoing issue along with many other issues.

I think when a family is weighing so heavily on your mind and a constant source of stress that it just isn't worth it. If there are children/families that bother you and stay on your mind even during off hours then it is a sign of trouble and that something is wrong. We have to be able to enjoy what we do or else we will be too frazzled to deal with the other children/parents and our own families.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well I would term assuming you can either fill the spots quickly or losing the income will not be a financial strain. the next time she shows up at the door with food or drink hand it right back to her and say sorry this is not allowed unless you want to bring enough for everybody. Give her an invoice for the broken toys. you probably don't get paid enough to be abused by the mother let alone deal with the hooligans. As Judy would say ......NEXT.......

[jec]

I have to agree with Spixie33 ~ this family is causing too much stress and I know your probably thinking about things after daycare hours so this issue is spilling into your family time. You have to be able to enjoy your job ....or we will get too frazzled to deal the daily things in our own lives.
If you can do without the income ...I think you should end care.
Cut your loses and advise them that it's best they find another provider..not an easy thing to do either

[michellesmunchkins]

Thanks Ladies. Good to know that others think the same way. It would be a good chunk of income gone, but for my sanity and that of the other children I think its a must. Spots fill eventually right Not only me, but my husband can't stand them, my 16 year old who helps in the daycare has had enough of them, and my 5 year old cringes when he sees their car pull in the driveway. One parent has even suggested they go, or she may consider taking her own child out as she sees some of their behaviours during drop off. I think this Mom needs a reality check!

[michellesmunchkins]

Oh, and the vomiting apparently is something she does all the time when she doesn't get what she wants...plus the Mom tells me how abusive she is to her brother and her mother while at home. To the point that Mom is worried about going to sleep in case she does something. Today when she was told no she could not do something she ripped out chunks of her own hair!!! Something more going on that I think Mom needs to address!

[sunnydays]

Whoa! Definitely terminate them...you don't need to take this! I had a child who was stressing me out as well as her parents and since i terminated her my life has been so peaceful and I am enjoying daycare again...it was so worth the temporary loss of income. And she wasn't nearly as bad as what you are describing!

[playfelt]

Problem kids I can usually manage to tame but problem parents are a different issue and if they are totally in denial then they are fueling the problem by believing everything a 2 1/2 year old tells them about their day. I know it means two spaces would be open and you might want to give a warning to the parent of what you are about to do unless whatever list of conditons you wish to place on the parent with the stipulation that this is the last and final warning and any breach of these rules will be immediate that day dismissal. Then you have covered yourself from not needing to give them the notice in you contract and once threatened mom might step up although doubtful. Always fell guilty saying terminate because we know that all that is going to happen is the kids will become some other unsuspecting providers nightmare but. You have given it time, reminded of the rules and still the mom has no respect you can't really expect the kids too either.

[Play and Learn]

When mom is not helping out with the situation at all TERM HER ASS!!!!

As It states in my manual under Guidelines for Parents:

Respect Others in the Home - Towards all children, other parents and adults on the premises including myself. Be in control of your child (ren) and enforce the House Rules during drop-off and pick-up times.

Respect the Rules in Your Manual - Read your Manual thoroughly and know and respect, and take seriously the contents. Ask if unsure of a policy. Communicate! Pay on time. Drop-off and pick-up on time. Do not linger. Do not bring toys, food, or drink for your child from home unless on special occasion or with permission. Provide supplies in a timely manner - diapers, appropriate spare clothing for the season and medicines/diaper creams. No shoes in the house (beyond the mat at the front door). Upon the third infraction of any guideline, as outlined in the manual, a two-week termination notice will be given.

Respect the Daycare Provider

You may use this if you wish. I don't put up with other peoples crap. I try to provide a warm, safe, and caring environment for other peoples children. They don't like it - LEAVE!