Would you terminate

[michellesmunchkins]

Mom in alberta- I think there are major psychological issues and since my initial education was in counselling I have a good base to think that way. Expressed to Mom that maybe a child psychologist would be a good idea..but she disagrees. Only so much I can do/suggest before you just have to cut losses and walk away. I would hate for the other little ones to pick up on these behaviours and exhibit them. The rest of my group are amazing!

Cocoon, funny you should call her Chucky, her aunt has nicknamed her Sybill (sp) from the movie about the woman with multiple personalities because apparently when she's at the aunt's house she goes from personality to personality and scares them!

[Judy Trickett]

NEXT!............... .

Why are you even asking this question?? Now, before you think I am being pushy (I'm not) just hear me out. WHY are you asking if they should stay?? If this were NOT a daycare situation would you allow someone to treat you this way?? Would you allow someone to just come into YOUR home and blatantly disregard your house rules or throw up on your floor "just because"??

I am guessing the answer is a big, fat NO!

Here is the thing with daycare (and anything in life) - YOU teach people how to treat you. YOU are responsible if someone is disrespectful toward you. YOU have to own that.

I know that's a lot to swallow to realize that the way dcmom is acting is really YOUR fault but it is. Sure, we encounter rude and disrespectful and downright crazy dcparents but the difference in blame lies with whether or not they were disrespectful once or repeatedly. EVERY time a dcparent is disrespectful to you after the first time then YOU have to own that. Because if you put your foot down after the first time and make it known you will NOT be treated in this fashion then one of two things will, and should, happen:

1. The straighten up and treat you with the respect you have DEMANDED
OR
2. They leave or get teriminated

YOU have the ability, each and every day, to either have a daycare full or respectful parent or a daycare full of disrespectful parents. The choice is always yours.

Decide today, RIGHT NOW, if YOU are worthy of being respected and act on it.

((and I am not ganging up on you. I say this out of love and caring so that every provider can open their doors each and every morning feeling good about what they do))

[michellesmunchkins]

Judy, you are ABSOLUTELY right!!! I have adopted that motto in every other aspect of my life that people only treat you the way that you allow them...but when it comes to the daycare kids/parents I always seem to make excuses for their behaviours! Thanks for your post...I'm so glad I found this site and forum

[michellesmunchkins]

Just wanted to update...they are GONE as of next week....I feel sooooooooo much better knowing that its almost over with them...the loss of income for a short time will be worth it! Thanks so much everyone for your advice...this is the first family I have had to terminate!

[Judy Trickett]

Just wanted to update...they are GONE as of next week....I feel sooooooooo much better knowing that its almost over with them...the loss of income for a short time will be worth it! Thanks so much everyone for your advice...this is the first family I have had to terminate!

It gets easier after the first one. And once you have terminated a few kids it's not even stressful to terminate them anymore. If anything it is a HUGE stress reliever.

[gcj]

I'm just sorry that it's not sooner for you. Gosh. Good luck! I hope the time flies between now and then!!
And I hope for the kids sake that mom smartens up and gets help for the child instead of putting her head in the sand and making it worse. Poor kids.

[mom-in-alberta]

Atta girl!!! I can almost HEAR your relief in your post.... Yay.

[Cadillac]

I had just one child like this: felt guilty and told her things need to change quick, when they didn`t I had her pay for me to have a one to one with him, and then gave them two weeks notice. It doesn`t just affect you, it affects the other children too. I had one girl putting her dolly in time out and talking to it sternly . . . that was a wake up call for me that ALL of us needed this little one GONE!

NEEEEEEXT

[Cadillac]

...I'm so glad I found this site and forum

Me too. I like that when I get pissed about something there are already 5 providers raving about it. I love this job but when I`m having `one of those days` this site puts the smile back on my face.

[suemaria]

i agree with terminating, if you are not getting any assistance from the parents at home to work with you on getting the children settled or behaviour guidance in place, then you are going to be always at a loss on this. and your life is going to be stressful and in disarray, not to mention your other families are going to take notice and therefore your business name jeapordized. its hard to do but be professional and thats all you can do. the children are not the issue, its parenting and parents ways of thinking. in my program, if we are not working together for the best interests of the children, then the parents know of it. some people you can talk to, some you cant, and thats where its rough. be firm with them, clear, strong. i think your reasons are valid. even give her a last chance, explain where you need to be with her, the children, why. if she doesnt respect you, the other families then try not to lose sleep over it, and chalk it up to something that doesn't work. good luck.