Walking away from a family

[Marie]

Today is my first day with a new family. They bring their almost 4 year old and 12 month old. I already know this is too much for me. I could take one more child but not two more. I currently have a 2.5 & 18 month old (my kids) a 21 month old and these two. I know after just today that this is too much for me and just don't feel it's fair if I keep them with me. I know my limits and this is it. Do I tell them at pick-up or wait at least till the end of the week? I feel absolutely horrible and have thought about just sticking it out but I know I can't. It's not fair to the others. How would you all handle this?

[Judy Trickett]

Rip the bandaid off now if you truly know it's too much. BUT, it also might not be too much. Sometimes we need a week or two to get into a new routine with new kids.

[Spixie33]

I agree with Judy. It might just be the first day and the extra work that is a shock to you.
I started a new one in January because all fall I was starting to feel bored with the toddlers and thought I could handle a baby to keep me busy
Then the baby came and I was like "WTH was I thinking? I can't do this!" and was kicking myself of rnot enjoying my easier time with the almost 3 year olds.
Now the baby transitioned and things are smoothing out.
Sure I am still counting down the next few months until the baby becomes around15-16 months and more self sufficient in terms of feeding themselves more and walking more etc but I am feeling more okay with it nmow.

However - if you can't do it then I think sooner is better. It takes a lot of insight to admit it snd know your limits. No sense being miserable and not providing your best self with the other kids etc

[Marie]

I'll feel like a complete loser telling them but I know this is too much with my son being only 2.5 months old. If he were at leat 8 months then I could but for the time being it's too much. It really feels like I'm a failure but I can't continue knowing it's too much. It also doesn't help that the 4 year old is a bit immature for his age. He also isn't potty trained but is working on it. He's as sweet as can be though, but just seems to act much younger than his age.

[Spixie33]

I'll feel like a complete loser telling them but I know this is too much with my son being only 2.5 months old. If he were at leat 8 months then I could but for the time being it's too much. It really feels like I'm a failure but I can't continue knowing it's too much. It also doesn't help that the 4 year old is a bit immature for his age. He also isn't potty trained but is working on it. He's as sweet as can be though, but just seems to act much younger than his age.

Oh I thought your son was 2.5 YEARS - didn't notice it said MONTHS. Yes then I can imagine it would be a lot
You know what - the parents shouldappreciate your honesty rather than you forcing through and then someone gets hurt or has an accident and then saying it is too much -r ight?
a 2.5 month year old obviously needs a lot of attention and even the 4 year old who is potty training needs a very vigilant eye to get to the potty etc.
Good luck

[sunnydays]

I think you should tell them right away. I was going to agree with Judy and say that the first couple of weeks can be an adjustment and it feels crazy and then gets better...but, then I noticed you said your kids are 2.5 months and 18 months! Wow! You are brave to add anything to that let alone an extra two. Definitely you should follow your gut and not get yourself into a situation where someone might get hurt or you are a total stressball. Good luck to you

[lunademiel]

I couldn't imagine caring for others when my own was only 2 1/2 months! Her brother (25months then) was WAY too much to handle lol! Now that they are 10 months and almost 3 I am starting to care for another child but at 2 1/2 months... while the older one was adjusting to having a baby sister, no way. So I don't think anyone would not fully understand that you have limits, and this may be it. Good luck!

[mlc1982]

I backed out of care right before someone started before ... after deposit was made and start date was coming up. I felt horrible at first but it was such a relief. The woman seemed happy that I told her right away too. I told her for the sake of her child I had to back out. I knew it was too much to handle. You have to go with what your gut is telling you and if it's too much to handle, you're better to get out now.

[mom-in-alberta]

If your baby (babies!) was/were a little older, I would say "give it some more time".
But you have your hands full right now. If you think it's not a good situation, then it's probably not!!
Be honest with them. Apologize profusely, and give them at least a little time (if you can), to find someone new. If they get upset, don't let it bother you!! You are looking after the wellbeing of their kids as well as your own. I would hope that they can be understanding and appreciate your honesty. Good luck, and I hope you find just one more for your bunch!

[Judy Trickett]

Okay, after your additional info I say just tell them. Don't give it more time to work out. I, too, did not realize your youngest child was 2.5 MONTHS old! Yikes, Yep, just tell them and then be happy about your decision.