Hi,
I can totally feel you as I had a mom who was very much the same. She would bring in outside food, (I mean Tim Hortons choclate donuts for a three y/o @ 6 AM??) Here child never had clean clothes was thrree and had NO INTEREST IN THE POTTY. I MEAN NONE. Mom asked me for a 6 AM drop off and was at least 30 mins late EVERYDAY.
This child was an angel until challenged. She was a tad of a bully and when I talked to mom her answer was something along the lines of, she has siblings and has to fight for everything she has this is just her. WHAT? She was never onboard with helping me with this kid, and she always just wanted me to give in all the time not enforcing my rules (mom).
What I did was I kept the dcg on until I found another to fill her spot, and gave mom the notice reqiured in my contract stating that I was no longer able to provide care, when she pressed I just simply stated that after much trial and error dcg just wasn't thriving here.
I hope you can find a resolution that works for you.
Ginger