I'm not ready in the morning?

[Cadillac]

Yesterday I had a parent speak with me about being ready in the morning. This woman was so anxious about this issue that I felt sorry for her. But, let me start from the beginning:

From about a month before Christmas to a month afterwards my year and a half year old wasn't sleeping. Every night this child was up from 12am to around 4am. By the end I was so exhausted that this lady woke me up with the doorbell on two separate occasions. Regardless of her waking me up I was still at the door by the second ring in less than 30 second. Anyways, All of my parents were aware of the issue and I talked to this client personally at the end of that week to apologize and let her know that I won't let that week happen again. to date, it hasn't.

Unfortunately I think she was unable to let it go and her anxiety began to build as yesterday she brought up her issue of me being ready in the morning. I wasn't really sure what she was talking about, because I am up and ready. She said that I don't look awake and that if my morning routine isn't done then I'm not ready and she truly believed that she was waking me up with the doorbell at least a few times a week. Then I began to clue into the fact that I had changed my shirt since the morning so I asked her if this is what she meant. She said that it was part of it and I explained that I had to change and I spilled pickle juice on myself but assured her that the rest of my clothing was indeed still the same. The rest I realized was that I just didn't look awake enough for her. Unfortunately I'm one of those people that look like a disaster in the morning no matter what make-up I put on, how I dress, or any water that is splashed on my face.

I was really taken back and a little insulted by this complaint as she has no issue with my programming or the way I treat the children or anything else to do with my actual business.

Does this seem a bit petty to anyone? Or should I be making some drastic changes to look presentable to her standards?

[playfelt]

My first kids come at 6:30 and while I am up I am by no means "ready" for the day. I am dressed, hair is combed and I dont' wear make up anyways so I guess that is about as ready as I get. After they come I eat my breakfast, read the newspaper, make a pot of tea, etc.

Sometimes the best thing to do with issues like this is nothing. If the parent was truly upset she would be saying more, questioning more, etc. If she says anything then just passing it off as well some of us are morning people and some of us are late night people and some of us are neither but how I look does not effect how I care for the children and the kids dont' care if I am wearing makeup or got my hair in a ponytail or not and really confused why it matters to you. Then change the subject.

[Cadillac]

Just to add: she also mentioned to me that she has spoken with several friends who told her to take her child out of my care as soon as possible. Is looking tired such a crime?

[momplus6]

I have to say I am glad my parents aren't soo anal. Today the family walked in the door just as I walked to the door from the shower. I was dressed but had a towel on my head. I have also slept in and been woken by the door. I am in no way ready for the day when my first kids arrive I sit in the living room drinking coffee the kids watch cartoons I also prepare my son's lunch for school and get my daughter dressed. I don't see what the big deal is, I think you should start looking for a new family personally as she sounds stressed over nothing

[sunnydays]

While I agree that she is being a bit picky...being tired looking is not a crime...I also can see it from the parents' point of view. I have a friend who has had to wake her daycare provider several times with ringing her doorbell in the morning and it was annoying to her as the daycare provider had agreed on the hours. I think the concern from the parents point of view would be that if you are not ready for the day then who is watching the kids while you get ready? Probably, after having woken you the two times, she has been looking for signs that it is still happening. Also, she may be concerned that you are too tired to care for the kids properly. I totally get where you are coming from, as my daughter was still waking several times in the night when I started doing daycare and I had to pretend to be perky in the morning I guess, as a parent who has had her children in daycare, I just often see things from the parents' perspective as well. I think as long as you are dressed, hair brushed, etc, that is all you can do and eventually she will have to believe that she did not wake you. Maybe a cup of coffee or tea before she arrives?

[Naftafia]

Wow, what a shame that she is getting caught up on a small detail like that. I have been woken up by the doorbell twice too and my parents simply laughed at my voice and hair! In addition my kids are often not up when my first d/c kids arrive so I do take a couple of minutes to get them dressed and ready... no one minds! She has to realize that she is in a home daycare, if she has such clear expectations her child might be better off in a center.
As for looking tired it does not affect your ability to care for the kids and they for sure don't mind or even notice

[Play and Learn]

I tell my parents that I am in no way a morning person. Sometimes I wake up 5-10 minutes prior to opening for the day. They are well aware of this when signing on.

I think this woman is being very petty. If she doesn't like it, in my mind she can leave! Like playfelt, I barely EVER wear makeup, so I just wash my face, throw on my 'daycare' clothes (comfy wear), and open the door.

[Cadillac]

I see it from the parents perspective too. That is why I explained several times that I knew I shouldn't have slept in but with my child being up so often I was sleeping through all the alarms set. She said it was fine, she understood, no harm done. But clearly there was.
Some days I wear make-up, some days I wear sweats, some days I do my hair, some days I wear a really nice outfit, some days I don't feel like trying. I really think its my prerogative but it must be throwing her off.

too bad I guess.

[Bookworm]

I am soo not a morning person either. I am dressed by the time my first kids arrive, but I am almost always wearing sweats with my hair in a pony and I never wear makeup. That is pretty much my everyday attire, daycare or not (why dress up if I'm always at home?). One or both of my kids has either just woken up (or is still sleeping) and is still in their pjs, but my parents don't mind.
I think it is a given that a parent will be tired in the morning, especially with young kids.
Next time she says something I would just outright ask her what her issue is, and just tell her that if she doesn't trust you to look after her child, then maybe she needs to find alternate care.
I

[jec]

I don't wear make up either..and I am one of those who look very different without it. I wear yoga clothes ~nothing like I did when I worked in an office!! I've had a parent ask me if everything was OK..I laughed it off telling her that I must need a little lip gloss!

I always try to put the shoe on the other foot. You being tired is not her issue and please don't take that the wrong way...it's just how she might see it. She is paying you and might have concerns that you are too tired. I won't wait until next time she says something, I would address it now. Joking saying maybe a little lip gloss wouldn't hurt but your daycare kids don't mind if you don't they just want you to be having fun with them. You want to reassure her that her little one is priority and that you've mentioned that your tired but in way no not able to do what she hired you for and that this is the impression that you got. I like to have an open communication with my daycare families. Yes this is my business but without them, I wouldn't have one. Now if she is being rude about it, that is different and you shouldn't have to put up with that.