Wow, what a shame that she is getting caught up on a small detail like that. I have been woken up by the doorbell twice too and my parents simply laughed at my voice and hair! In addition my kids are often not up when my first d/c kids arrive so I do take a couple of minutes to get them dressed and ready... no one minds! She has to realize that she is in a home daycare, if she has such clear expectations her child might be better off in a center.
As for looking tired it does not affect your ability to care for the kids and they for sure don't mind or even notice
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