Just gave notice to a family but feel so awful for the little one!

[Skysue]

Hi ladies,

I just gave notice to a family of a little 2 year old. She was very aggressive and constantly needing to be re-directed. I am so exhausted at the end of the days that’s she s here.
She kicks and hits me all the time when she needs to get changed L I usually bribe her and ask her if she wants to go potty and she usually says yes but when’s she goes #2 she hides and won’t let me change her. I dread every time I have to change her. I can’t leave her in a room alone with anyone for fear of her hurting them etc…

But…there is a really a soft side to her and she can be so loving and she is extremely smart. I have done all that I can and I know I needed to terminate for the best interest of every one. Her parents sort of had a lack of respect for me & it showed in the way they didn’t follow through on disciplining her themselves. When you are in this business and your working alone for the good of a child it never works.

I just feel bad because she has made some really good friends here and it’s going to be such a shock to her when she doesn’t come anymore. It really breaks my heart. I have been watching her for almost 5 months and I truly hope her next experience will be a good one. I have recommended her been in a program with peers and not younger children as she thrives in this atmosphere!

Don’t you ladies hate it when it doesn’t work out? I hate feeling this way but I know I will have more manageable days and a happier group overall!

[mom-in-alberta]

I can’t leave her in a room alone with anyone for fear of her hurting them etc…
I know it's sad. But that would be a dealbreaker for me!! At the age of 2, with her being around your rules for almost half a year; you should not still be dealing with this. And no daycare child is allowed to hit or kick me, or anyone else for that matter.
I hope you manage to fill that spot with a lovely family, soon!

[Momof4]

Ugh! It's so very sad that we can't save every child, you're right Skysue. I've wondered a lot about the children I've let go but I can only help 5 little ones and their families at a time and so can you. It isn't my responsiblity though it's up to the PARENTS. HELLO!!!!!!! Do you see? Don't feel guilty for a second.

[playfelt]

Think on the positive that may have done the child a service because you have made the parents aware of issues they might not have known to this extent if you had continued along. When she gets released form her next home it will make them take notice. You may have just started the ball rolling to get this child some help down the road. In a sense you may very well have started saving this child by releasing her and letting the parents know why.

[Momof4]

mom in alberta brought up the the exact reason for my termination of a 2 1/2 year old girl in my first year in this business, because she was out of control violent and hurt the other children in my care. Yes, she could be a sweetie but the parents were completely stupid and I feel terrible that I couldn't turn that little one into a wonderful human being instead of the scary person I'm afraid she may have become without me but we can't save everyone. At least the other children in my daycare were safe and it became a calm environment once she was gone. Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions.

[Inspired by Reggio]

If we think of daycare as 'work' for children it becomes easier to accept hat not everyone is cut out for CERTAIN WORK because they do not have the skills, training or personality to cope with it ... unfortunately not all families work together to help their children to develop the skills and trained to thrive in their WORK of group care and therefore group care is not for every child ... we can only do so much within our programs and if a child is consistently violent and we have attempted to give them the skills and training to be otherwise and the family is either not supporting the same message or helping or the child is just not able to 'get it' than we have no choice but to terminate and hope that their next 'work environment' is more suited to their skills and abilities!

[Skysue]

Thanks ladies I feel better! Today has been a dream day. It feels good not having to put anyone on a time out at all today! So far! LOL

[playfelt]

Amazing how the group dynamics change isn't it.