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I hope this works for DCK's sake!
My little f/t kid has mastered the art of playing mom vs me re: house rules (The no shoes on the floor rule that she keep breaking) I was angry, and still am, at the mother for not enforcing my house rules and backing me up....but as my mother said "what do you expect, she doesn't know how to feed or dress her kid what makes you think she knows how to parent?!" So I'm not going to depend on the mother teaching her own kid.
When dck came in this morning I asked "do you know what you did last night that was naughty?"
they nodded
"what did you do?"
"walk kitchen with shoes"
"thats right....is that allowed?"
"no"
"remember what I said if you did that again?" (second day in a row)
BIG EYES
"yup, I told you that you would sit next to me ALL day and would not be allowed to play. Just sit, eat, sleep then home!"
"I sorry"
"I'm sorry as well.....but it's too late. Next time you follow the rules".
@ 4:00 dck calls for me and says "I sorry, no shoes on floor"
We'll see if this works, if not then I'll have dck dressed sitting on the stairs 5min before mom's arrival, when the door knocks, I'll just pass dck over. No chance for error...........I hope!! uggghhhhhh
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Yup, sounds like you have to take charge, as long as dck is in your vicinity. She will learn....
I have it stated in my handbook that when they are picking up/dropping off, THEY are responsible for the child's behaviour and THEY are expected to enforce my house rules. That being said, the day that a dck kicked my front door because he didn't like something his dad said; I took over!!
They will treat their parents in whichever way they are allowed to when not around me. But don't even think about doing that kind of crap in my home.
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Euphoric !
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I find that one of the biggest challenge in this business is not the CHILDREN but rather having to work with clients who do not SHARE our values or beliefs around child rearing and therefore make our job that much harder because the children than 'struggle' to balance between home and care .... I had to navigate that for years in centre care now that I work from home if you do not share my core values than 'next' during the interview stage and if you are not working WITH me once you are in care than NEXT as well .... life is just way too short to have to deal with the stress of 'parenting' not only the children but the parents as well
So very true.... and yes, I would be approaching these scenarios as teaching the parents as much as teaching the child. I do find it interesting, though, that a child will behave in a very different manner at pick-up/drop-off than they do the rest of the day. That's when you know (provided that they are not brand new and still LEARNING your expectations) that they are TESTING the adults around. Pushing some boundaries, so to speak.
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Euphoric !
Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta
.... I do find it interesting, though, that a child will behave in a very different manner at pick-up/drop-off than they do the rest of the day. That's when you know (provided that they are not brand new and still LEARNING your expectations) that they are TESTING the adults around. Pushing some boundaries, so to speak.
Oh for sure - I call this the 'supply teacher syndrome' how when the teacher is away the kids have fun testing the new teacher to see if they have the same 'expectations' .... my crew quickly learn the rules are the same and so are the consequences no matter WHO is present I have no issue redirecting behaviour in front of my clients
Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
Loris Malaguzzi
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