Transitioning :(

[Skysue]

I’m transiting a new baby 16 months old and she cries every time I put her in her highchair. She won’t leave my side so I put her in her highchair while I’m prepping meals and I give her toys but she screams like crazy.

I can’t leave her by my side as she tries to play with the stove? I don’t understand why parents these days don’t enforce the kitchen as a no fly zone. A 17 month old should know the stove is off limits L

She screams at nap time and won’t sleep she only has slept twice and I’m sure its from pure exhaustion. Oh and she refuses to eat in her highchair. She will ask for food to walk around with and I just hate this as its messy and the other kids try and take it.

Her Mom mentioned that she went to another interview after me and she was applauded that they served pasta two times a week for a meal. She liked my meal plans; I serve pasta as a side never a meal. I can’t get her daughter to eat anything and today I fed her chicken and pasta and now I know why. She eats pasta like it’s chocolate. LOL

So my thought is she doesn’t want me to serve it due to the fact that it’s all she will eat. This way there are dinner options. Am I overeating or not?

Ladies the screaming and crying is really killing me. I have told her to please stop crying as she knows she’s ok and she looks at me and stops crying & is if fine. But will start back up when I turn my head.

Ideas? She has been here 3 weeks and this week is week 4, she is only part time and I know it takes longer I just don’t know if I have anymore energy left myself!

HELP!

[jec]

Yikes ~ sounds like you may need to let this one go....
You know your limits and if the constant screaming and crying is getting to you ~ it isn't worth the stress that it is causing you.
You could try to hang in there...try different tactics to get her to stop but it sounds as though you might have already made up your mind.

[Bookworm]

I am in a very similar situation to you right now, so I have no help, but I feel your pain. I have 3 kids transitioning right now. Just turned one year old twin boys (who are fine and never had a problem transitioning) and an eleven month old girl who is full time. I am currently in week 3 with her and she does the same thing as your little one. As soon as I put her in the highchair she would cry and scream and wouldn't eat. She wanted me to hold her so she could eat. No way that was happening! I just kept reassuring her and telling her she was fine and eventually she stopped crying for the most part. If I leave her sight she cries and screams and again I tell her to stop and that she's fine.
I know she is babied at home, her mom tells me she screams if mom leaves the room too.
I had a day from hell yesterday because she cried pretty much all day and set all the other kids off too and it is getting to me too. My two year old daughter tells me she doesn't want her here.
When the kids are playing she is constantly trying to crawl in my lap and cries if I tell her no. I put her down and give her a toy and tell her she's okay, but that only works sometimes. The only thing I have found so far to stop the crying for the most part is to allow her to have her blankie with her at all times. She normally will just cuddle with it and stop crying, then rejoin in the playing or just sit there and watch the kids play.
I too hope this ends soon.

[Crayola kiddies]

I am going to start transitioning a 10 month old next week and after reading these posts as well as another similar thread I am getting really nervous.

[Cocoon]

Crayola kiddies, not all kids are the same. If it helps I have another 14 months old who only comes 2 days a week and it only took him for a week or two to adjust. It was difficult at first especially nap times as he did not wanted to nap but his mom told me that she lets him cry and he will get used to it. Which I did and in max. 2 weeks he is a dream boy. He sleeps, eats and my days with him is very relaxing and I enjoy having him here. I told his mother if she would think of going back to work full time

So don't worry. Unless you try you wouldn't know. Or maybe we will see your post soon "I'm going to lose my mind " only joking

Cocoon

[michellesmunchkins]

I had a little one like this as well, she lives in a house with all adults who have treated her like a little 'doll' so she THINKS she needs to be picked up constantly and had no idea how to interact/play with or alongside the other children. Patience is key and trust me its not easy to listen to for hours on end. It does in turn effect the other children. It took my little one a few months of this, but I never waivered in picking her up. She would cry in the highchair, cry in the playpen, cry in the daycare rooms, cry if someone walked past her...but we would all remind her that she was ok and then ignore the crying. Each day it was less and less and now she is the sweetest little girl that we all just love to pieces! The other children would also tell her "its ok, mommy be here soon" and continue playing. It also helps if the parents are on board and help out in respect to not giving in to her every whim at home...not always easy as parents usually don't 'get it' but might be worth holding onto. Trust me, many days I swore it would be here last night as I just couldn't handle the crying, but now I can't imagine her not here. It will all depend on how much you can deal with the crying.

[sunnydays]

Don't worry! I have found so far that the younger ones adjust faster...I have a boy who started with me at 9 months and he NEVER cried for his parents...not even once! He was happy and slept like a dream from day one! I have another 12 month old who is nearing his second week with me now and he only cried a little bit for the first 2-3 days and since then he has been a dream also...he sleeps well, eats well and plays happily all day long. My first daycare child was more along the lines of these threads...cried all the time...wouldn't sleep...eventually I terminated her, but it wasn't just that...I kept her for 8 months and had all kinds of problems. I am not sure if I am just lucky with the most recent additions or if it is because I am getting better at it (I've been doing daycare for almost a year now...not a long time, but I feel I've come a long way!). The only advice I have is following a pretty rigid routine so that the kids know exactly what to expect and when, and to be consistent for the same reason. When they go down for the naps, follow the same routine always and if they cry react in the same way each time (for me, I let them cry, but go and check after about 5 minutes, lie them back down, repeat repeat until they sleep...the checking is partly reassurance, but mainly to make sure they haven't pooped or there isn't some real problem). The more sure the child can be in your reactions and in the structure of the day, the more secure they will feel. However, every kid is different and it will be harder for some kids than others...doesn't mean you aren't doing everything right!

I am going to start transitioning a 10 month old next week and after reading these posts as well as another similar thread I am getting really nervous.

[Momof4]

Interviewing is my least favourite part of my job and transitioning is a very close second. It's really rough when you get a child who takes a few months to fit it. It's exhausting for us as the provider and for the other children in the daycare. I've been transitioning new new babies for months now and I look at the 3 older children at the end of the day and they are just wiped out like I am from listening to all the crying. I love it when a child comes in and is happy quickly but it doesn't happen very often.

I'm in month 4 with the new little boy and his parents are doing everything I suggest so that he has consistency at home and daycare. I won't terminate when the parents are trying hard because I'll just have to start over if I try a new family. But you have to go with what works for you.

[Skysue]

Thanks ladies, it just helps knowing others understand. To top it all off today I have a killer migrane! The new little one is soooo sweet and I know we will get there but I just wish it was now!

She naped today but had a #2 during and fell back asleep. I had to wake her to change her but she wasn't happy and didn't sleep much after!

[Spixie33]

Transitioning an infant can be challenging. I have had 15-18 mo start without any issues and then recently transitioned a 12 month old.
After day 1 of the 12 mo old I though I might have to terminate and possibly take up drinking
But after a few days it got better and the child transitioned within a week and a half.
It is a REALLY FINE line to walk between comforting and cuddling a scared/confused child and also not getting too close to the point where they velcro themselves to you. There has to be a balance between comforting and making them learn to play on their own for periods of time and fostering independence.
I hope it gets better for everyone who is going through the tough transitions. Kudos to everyone who transitions an infant. I know that minutes with a crying new child can feel like hours