Time away/loss of priveledge, what do you do for guidance/disapline

[samantha3]

Hello,

I am just looking for some new ideas as I am running out of some/need some new ideas for one child in my care.

I have a 3yr old boy (had for over a year) and he chooses not to listen, is constantly using his body to hurt other children, grabbing toys from younger children, throwing my outside toys off of the balcony ledge onto the street. etc. when he is in a bad mood.... on the other side he is the sweetest thing when he is not in a 'bad' mood.

I have tried redirection to another activity, asking him to go play by himself if he cannot keep his hands on his own body, time aways..... and now I am frustrated and could really use some help for some new ideas...

Thank you!!!

[Cadillac]

Hmmmm. Just out of curiosity, does he sleep well at home and does he nap at your house? When kids get ridiculous like that (but aren't always and have a real good side to them) I find they are in desperate need of better sleep.

[Mamma_Mia]

I agree with better sleep....parents for some reason seem to think "oh they are 3yrs old, they don't needs naps anymore!" Every child is different some need even a 30min nap....or "quiet" time...have him read a book or listen to soft music...or even a boring movie - Land before time would get my yonger brother sleeping each time LOL

[Cadillac]

My point with the sleep is that when a little one is exhausted beyond measure they can act out as you had mentioned. time away at this point doesn't work because its just more angering and frustrating because they no longer have any coping skills.

[samantha3]

Hello,

He is one of my best nappers, lol Sometimes he will go a couple of days without this behavior and then BOOM it is like a time warp back to when he was two years old.... just frustrating...

[Cadillac]

Time away is usually the best option. I try not to take away privileges unless it's the toy they choose to smash/hit with. If you give him warnings when the behavior starts I would stop doing that and give him an instant time out.

A great way to motivate him to keep up the positive behaviour would be a token chart. Pick three things he needs to work on and two that he already does well at (so he can also have a sense of accomplishment) Make the goals positive sentences such as 'I was gentle with my friends' 'I shared the toys' or 'I listened to samantha by the second time she called my name'. Make the chart into the periods of your day such as 'morning play', lunch time' afternoon play, Try to start out with small chunks of time and work up. At the end of each period give stickers for the goals he completed. when he gets X amount of stickers then he gets a prize. Eventually, as his behaviour improves and becomes more consistent, add more goals and make the time chunks longer.

Throughout the day give him positive reinforcement by mentioning his chart such as "my my 'billy' you are doing such a great job playing with "sally" I think you'll be earning your sharing sticker this period' if he is having a rough time remind him that positive behaviour is rewarded with stickers and prizes.

[Momof4]

Oh you must be soooooo frustrated! You don't know which boy will come in the door daily, yikes!

Does he need more of a challenge to keep him occupied and interested? Is he one of the oldest in the daycare so you can make him a helper or give him special duties? I admit that my first thought was to wonder about sleeping patterns but you said this is not the problem. Do you have open communication with the parents and talk to them about everything? They should be letting you know every morning how things are going so you know what to expect and they should be a part of trouble-shooting and problem-solving in partnership with you.