I did not intend to criticize your communication - sorry if it came off that way ... however in my many years in centre are I often witnessed that providers THOUGHT they are clearly communicating with clients about behaviour but in reality they are not sending the message that they are frustrated enough with the behaviour to terminate care over it - so the parents were just dismissing it as 'communication about his day' not as the CRY FOR HELP it truly was and so when the 'termination' came they would be shocked that it was that 'big a deal' and the providers would be frustrated that 'what the hell I have been telling you for months that Bobby is full of energy and jumping on the couch how can you be shocked it has come to this' ... cause what the provider SAID and the client HEARD were two very different things!

In my program there are behaviours I consider 'normal' part of this business that are a stage of development and I do not often bug parents everyday with those minor things than there are others that while maybe 'normal part of development' are not socially acceptable will be a DEAL BREAKER if they are not addressed and rectified quickly those I will verbally share with parents at pick up ' Bobby was having a hard time remembering to use his words today and hit three of his friends out of frustration. As a consequence to help him learn he has to be gentle and friendly he spent a fair bit of time by himself until he can show me he can be trusted with the group - I cannot allow the other children to be harmed in my care. I am guessing that in the heat of the moment Bobby is lacking impulse control and anger management to make the 'better' choice. At home I need you to work on using his words to solve problems rather than his hands - puppet play is a great way to build these sort of skills by having the puppet mishave with Bobby to make him frustrated and Bobby trying 'better 'solutions to solve his problem that hitting them' the more he can practice the more naturally the better choices will come to him" ... this is the stage one of the 'verbal reminder and couching for better choices both in program and at home'. If Bobby did not improve this behaviour and it was something I was going to be willing to terminate over the next STAGE of the resolution would be to give the parents a 'written documentation' of Bobby's challenges in the program, my expectations, GOALS to work on at home and in program to master this expectation and a DEADLINE for this to occur or we would have to rethink his placement in the program. If at the end of the deadline the goals were not met there would be no SHOCK for the parents that the issue was 'that big' cause it was there in writing. And if the parents did not feel my expectation for Bobby was realistic than THEY would terminate at the onslaught of the 'written behavior management contract' and save me the trouble

This is what I meant about making sure that communication and the seriousness of how we are feeling is CLEAR ... just like in employment if something was so wrong with our performance we were in risk of being 'fired' we would expect a 'verbal warning with some coaching on how to improve' but if it was still not up to par we would get a 'written warning' to let us know it was indeed 'serious enough' verses just a communication akin to training thing of 'hey just a reminder you need to wear a hair net back there' as well as there would be a list of 'behaviours' in the employee handbook that clearly indicate 'do this and you are at risk of immediate termination of employment'.

In a field where there are so many 'approaches' to child rearing and so many varied 'expectations' for behaviour in children I just feel that communication needs to be EXTRA CLEAR with clients about what we expect and what CAN happen if we want to avoid conflict.

Termination sucks for everyone involved - I do not think anyone goes into this thinking it 'could' happen but it definitely helps to have a clear understanding of how to prevent it by clear written expectations of behaviour and the 'policy' around termination and what are grounds for it in our contracts.