Are they all like this? Will it get better?

[lunademiel]

I was going to say the same thing regarding the naps .... I had a 14 month old that would arrive at 630 I put her straight to bed and she would sleep 2 1/2 hours the get up and have breakfast and then another 2 1/2 - 3 hour nap after lunch ..... Maybe put her in the high chair with a few cheerios whole you get lunch ready.... And I agree use a Playyard for when she misbehaves... When I first opened my dayhome my own 18 month old was the problem biting and hitting I just kept on him and now he's as good as gold ( almost)

I am going to try the high chair while I prep, I think this will help! Thank you!

[lunademiel]

Do you know what time she is going to bed at night? Good luck. This sounds awful!

Honestly I think bedtimes are part of the problem... I don't think they are very consistent. I don't think they see the value in routines.

[Inspired by Reggio]

That is an early start I too would like put her to bed first thing and let her sleep as long as needed - that way your am free for some outside time.

When your hands are busy with the others I would Put her somewhere 'safe' so she cannot hurt herself or others until she masters gentle hand concepts ... Highchair or playpen while you are doing circle for example cause the others need you sometimes too and we have to find balance to meeting everyone's needs

[Judy Trickett]

Put her down to nap the second she gets there.

BUT, IMO, that type of behavior (hitting, biting, slapping, making herself vomit) is NOT normal 12 mth old transitioning behaviour. Quite frankly, kids who start here like that are terminated before the end of the first week.

It is one thing to be scared and cry and clingy when you are first introduced to daycare. It is quite another to act out aggressively at that age. Not acceptable at all.

[lunademiel]

Put her down to nap the second she gets there.

BUT, IMO, that type of behavior (hitting, biting, slapping, making herself vomit) is NOT normal 12 mth old transitioning behaviour. Quite frankly, kids who start here like that are terminated before the end of the first week.

It is one thing to be scared and cry and clingy when you are first introduced to daycare. It is quite another to act out aggressively at that age. Not acceptable at all.

I'm kind of happy to hear it is not totally normal behavior, because if all kids start his way, I may go insane... And honestly she doesn't cry nor is clingy so she's showing stress in different ways which I think makes it worse because is it an adjusting issue or is it a personality issue? If it's a personality issue, then termination is the only answer. If it's an adjusting issue, how long will it take? I feel like I need to give her and her family a chance. They are kind people. I would hate to leave them stranded... Daycare is VERY hard to come by in our area. You put your kids on waiting lists while your still pregnant

I think being new and inexperienced is really going against me on this one... I wish I knew better how to handle it.

Thank you all for your awesome advice and support, I don't know what I would do without this forum!

[Dreamalittledream]

Oh dear Olivetree, looks like you got a monster out of the Gate! Don't give up; they are not all like this. I know some days you are going to feel like you need 8 eyes and 10 arms! And with just beginning (I know, I just opened my daycare in August) you don't want to fail that child. I too have a 12 month old child who started in January with similar behaviours. They are old enough to understand a firm 'no' and with consistency it has gotten better (she is still one of my greatest challenges)...but I still confine her to the highchair (with activities) when I know that I'll be busy. Circle time/group activities are all still done when she is sleeping...I have not yet found a way to stop her from being very disruptive when we are focused on an activity (climbing on all of us and the book or activity (I have redirected a hundred times to no avail) , scratching her sister to get her to get up and play with her, crying at top volume when I scold her for this so that we can't continue). Keep in mind too that your children in adapting to your home daycare may be extra sensitive too (I was amazed at some of the behaviours my 2 year old son suddenly displayed). I notice an amazing change in dynamic (for the better) when she and her sister are not here. But to let them go? I just can't somehow. I wish you luck

[dodge__driver11]

I agree with judy for this one. I had to term a 12 mo because all he did was scream, hit and bite and when I'd put him in the play pen to calm he'd bang his head, and scream until his face was beat red. I ended up terming him only after caring for him for 3 or 4 days. (he would also bite and stratch my husband)

The mom was mad, but I think she got that no dayhome would put up with that and ended up staying home with him for now.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya I would not say it is NORMAL as in a very high percentage of kids are that way in infancy - those to me are signs over an overtired child who has been allowed to hit/scream/tantrum to have their needs met ... Infants are cause and effect oriented if it works to get their need met they repeat it of it does NOT they try something else ... all adults need to be sending that poor thing the message GENTLE HANDS and so forth otherwise you are in for challenges as she gets older at brewing that "problem solving strategy" later

It shocks me how many times I see parents allowing their infant to hit slap kick at them and they do not DO anything other that give the kid what they wanted ... Seriously regardless of the age that is NOT appropriate behavior!!!!

[Sandbox Sally]

It shocks me how many times I see parents allowing their infant to hit slap kick at them and they do not DO anything other that give the kid what they wanted ... Seriously regardless of the age that is NOT appropriate behavior!!!!

Me too! I have a parent whose son (at pickup) full out whacks her across the face and kicks her in the stomach, and she says NOTHING. He doesn't do this with me, as he learned very early on that it wouldn't fly - I taught him without yelling or upsetting him.

[Spixie33]

It sounds like this child is way over the top in terms of transitioning.
Transitioning usually means crying and being scared to move even 2 inches from your clutches until they feel comfy with the surroundings and get used to routines. Other transitioning things are constantly wanting to be carried and just being unable to play independently for even 30 seconds.

Vomit is where I draw the line every time. If a kid would cry to that point then I would head for the hills. Vomit is just so gross and extreme that it is a red flag

Are there other people who you could interview and give the spot to? This child may take a loooong time to transition and I would be scared that the behaviour might not improve before your trial period is up and then it is harder to get rid of them.

Good luck though. I feel for you !!