Not a "Flopper" but "Angry Spice"

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yup - I am another one that you leave the program 'gracefully' when mom and dad arrive OR if it is too hard for your to 'leave an activity' when they arrive you will find yourself dressed and waiting for mom and dad on the front step at pick up time.

I had a client whose child would start to throw a tantrum when she picked up - I watched for three days to see how she handled it and give her the benefit of the doubt that she could nip this in the bud - however it was NOT working because instead of sending the message that the behaviour was unacceptable she was trying to negotiate and bribe him to behave and that is NOT GONNA HAPPEN HERE! So on the fourth day I stepped in and got down to his level looked him in the eye and firmly said to the child "STOP - I know your sad to leave your friends but you do not treat your mama like this. We do not hit and slap people no matter how upset we are- use your WORDS with your mama! Now pick up time is not a choice - your job when mama arrives is to give her a big hug cause I know you missed her and than get dressed and go home - now I am going to count to three and I want to see some action here cause I know you can get dressed for your mama!" .... the kid had stopped thrashing at the 'stop' command cause he KNOWS when I say STOP to someone I mean business cause I do not use a 'negative' very often in the program and was listening to me and by the end had that 'cat caught with a mouse' expression on his face that he knew he had done 'wrong' and started sitting up to get dressed. Mom looks at me and said 'its ok for me to tell him to stop that behaviour - cause sometimes at home he gets really bad with this specially at bedtime?' Umm yes if the behavior is inappropriate you TELL THEM THAT how else are they going to learn what is expected of him and how to make better choices?

Now when mom arrives for pick up if he 'starts' to tantrum/whine about going she will tell him 'STOP and use your words with me' and he will say 'I want to finish my X' and if she has time to wait she will let him but if not she will him 'sorry not today we are in a hurry' and he is expected to ACCEPT THAT WITH GRACE and leave ... and so he does otherwise for the next several days 'staying' to finish something up is not an option at pick up - we tidy up well before mom arrives and 'wait' for her until he is leaving with grace as expected .... natural and logical consequence to his behaviour