Dilemma

[Cocoon]

Hi girls.

As the heading states I'm in dilemma.

There are 2 families who wants to place their babies in my care. One family wants immediate care(family A). The second family(family B) will start in April.

The family A seems really nice and it seem our views are same in terms of feeding, routines, disciplining etc. Now, family B is also seems nice too. I haven't met with her husband and her son yet as they are outside the country but will be back this weekend.
I have seen her son's photo and he is a sweetheart!

Now, I know I may sound petty minded but I did not get the immediate warmth feelings from the family A's baby. Don't get me wrong he is cute and he is baby and babies are cute But with family B's baby, even though I did not see him face to face but I've got that warmth feeling. He look very sweet and cute and all

My heart wants to pick the family B and she said she can not afford to pay me my 2 weeks fee to hold the spot and can only pay $100 to keep the spot until April.

Family A wants to start straight away(next Monday if I can). So, If I pick family B, I will loose 3 weeks pay. But If I pick family A I won't, as they want to start immediately.
I have to let family A by this afternoon whether I'm offering them space or not. What would you do? Would you offer the spot to family A or B?

Thank you.
Cocoon

[sunnydays]

Honestly, I would go with Family A. The fact that Family B `can`t afford` to pay your fee to hold the spot is a red flag especially if that is your policy and you'd be bending it for them. Bending policies right from the beginning is not a good idea. In terms of the baby of Family A, I am sure he/she will grow on you. I don't always get a feeling of "oh he's so cute" about babies during interviews, but once you get to know them, they become adorable I would never base a decision based on the "cuteness"factor " Thanks for posting honestly!

[michellesmunchkins]

I would NEVER hold a spot for a family whose child I have yet to meet. Photos are one thing (as a photographer for my side job I know how cute and sweet they look in photos and I also know the hell they put me through to get said photo lol). Always go with your gut. The not being able to afford is a red flag for me now too. If you start off bending your rules, they may take advantage of this and bend even more rules. Not saying for sure they will, but I'm always hesitant when I hear 'can't afford' before care even starts. Just my 2 cents

[jec]

I agree with kangaroomama when she says that your bending your policies right from the get go. That might and probably will lead to other times that she will expect you to bend on something else. First impressions aren't always right and you may find baby A to be sweetheart once you both get to know each other.
Also...for me, I would want to meet everyone before I make a choice to bring someone on for care. I would need to meet both the husband and the little one joining our daycare before I bring them into my home.
Good luck!! Let us know...

[Spixie33]

I think you really want to pick child B so why not meet them over the weekend face to face and then if you like them - sign them?

Three weeks is not a lot of income to lose if it means you feel comfortable with your decision, at peace and can see yourself happier with family B.

I have held a spot for MONTHS without holding fee before because i felt so strongly about the family and the personality of the child.

I don't necessarily judge kids by their looks (to some extent I do) but personality is HUGE.

Also...you mentioned they were out of the country presently. Is that going to happen frequently and do you have it worked out whether they get that time off from daycare etc?

and LASTLY -- YAY for you ! Two families to pick from is the ideal place to be ! Thank your lucky stars . lol I wish I had one decent family that I meshed with and you've got two. Either way it sounds like it should be okay...but it is your business so do what makes YOU happy.

And when she says she cannot 'afford' the holding fee for 2 weeks -- I take that as her just fibbing because she doesn't want to or see the value of doing that and losing that money. I think a lot of people would say the same thing to get out of paying the money. Just be careful that you are firm on your policies and stress them again to her if you decide to go with them because you don't want her to think that you are toooooo nice either

[Lou]

"I don't necessarily judge kids by their looks (to some extent I do) but personality is HUGE."

^^^ This made me LMAO!!!

My best advice would be to follow your instincts...intuitio n should tell you who to go with!

[Cadillac]

It really does sound like you already have your heart set on family B.

I see what the others are talking about with the red flags but I think you have to do what you think would make YOU happy. Three weeks isn't a long time at all. You're not losing income that you never really had in the first place.

I've also waited months for the right fit. It was worth it.

[Cocoon]

Thank you girls for your replies.

I should have make this clear on my first post. She is not saying she can't afford my fee, she is saying she can't afford to pay my two weeks holding fee. I'm already loosing 1 week's fee as there are 3 weeks left in this month and I wouldn't loose that one week even if I pick the family A. By the way, I have stall my decision for a week already for family B. As her son and her husband could not make it last week which they supposed to.

She says other day homes only charging $100 to hold the spot but my situation is different as I have a family who wants the care to start immediately. So I guess I would be in a position to ask 2 weeks fee. She probably thinks it's not fair on her. Would you do the same? Ask 2 weeks if you were in my position?

The 2 weeks holding fee may be too much for her. But on my email I have asked her to take my situation into consideration and suggest an alternate option for a holding fee that seems workable to both of us. And she did not suggest anything.

I think I know what I'm going to do.

By the way, I'm not accepting or refusing any family because of their childs' look. I'm only saying the "warmth feelings" when you first meet with anyone really

[Sandbox Sally]

I would absolutely go with family A, personally. The immediate start date and that you had a good feeling about them, despite their standoffish baby would be enough for me.

[lunademiel]

From my VERY little experience, my first impression of my little DCG that I am currently having problems with, was that she is so cute, I can already feel I'm going to connect with the one! BOY was I WRONG!!!!!

Just something to think about