I might have been a little curt . . .

[Cadillac]

But I'm starting to get annoyed with this family a little. just a few things over the past few weeks.

This is the family of the flopper I talked about last week. They also tend to take their time paying me more times than not. I had to send them an email last weekend that they needed to pay me that day.

a couple weeks ago they requested to come fridays as well, I said sure. Last week she came friday as planned. but dad seemed a little unhappy and had missed her that day. so I suggested that maybe he bring her half days or every other friday and to think about it. Today I said as they were walking out the door 'so will I see you tomorrow?' dad said no that their grandmother was coming and they probably wouldn't be coming fridays anymore. I was surprised and said ' wow good thing I asked' with a slightly sarcastic giggle. he said that he would have told me before he left. but . . . . he was just about out the door when I asked so clearly that wasn't the case. I told him I wouldn't charge him for tomorrow then and he thanked a little sarcastically (technically I should have charged them a vacation day)

I feel like I'm over reacting a bit because I'm getting frustrated with their child's behaviour that I know is a result of the way she is coddled at home and the little things are starting to add up. But, I'm not her parent and I don't feel comfortable handing out parenting advice unless asked.

This is why I'm working my ass off right now to finish my new contract. I'm tired of parents being uninformative of schedules and lackadaisical with payments.

end vent.

[Momof4]

Isn't it awful when somebody catches you off guard and you don't know how to respond? That happens to me all the time and I think of all the things I should have said later.

However, never in my business does that ever happen to me now and will not ever happen again. I learned lessons from the first families I took on who walked on me and never, never, never again!

Now, people have to tell me a month ahead if they are taking a day off and they are still going to pay full fees. I certainly hope that's your plan with this family, attending or not they pay full fees. If they think they can just tell you they are switching to part-time without discussing it in advance, well, don't allow it!

I know I sound like a broken record but repeat after me: ACCORDING TO OUR CONTRACT.......

Those were my words every single freaking time and you know what? I never have to say them any more because my families know I stick to the contract.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Vent away - home childcare business is definitely a learning curve for sure and shoring up your contract and policies to 'prevent' conflict in the future will help to ensure you do not burn out!

I agree with Momof4 once you have a contract that is agreed upon at enrollment STICK TO IT or TERMINATE and make that clear IN the contract - failure to abide by the policies set out within the contract WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE TERMINATION ... cause sadly some clients are like 'children' unless the consequences for 'poor behaviour' are clear and consistent they will keep trying to 'get away with stuff'

[Cadillac]

They only decided to try fridays for the first time last week. We have no contract that they HAD to stick to it (mental note, add to contract next time) I offered for them to think about it after the first friday, because I care. well, I'm done caring about the personal lives of this family. I've helped enough. I should just buckle down and be a hard ass about my policies. As soon as I'm done this new parent handbook (where NO stone is left unturned) it will be passed out with a smile and a promise that I am sticking to this NO MATTER WHAT!

[Inspired by Reggio]

...As soon as I'm done this new parent handbook (where NO stone is left unturned) it will be passed out with a smile and a promise that I am sticking to this NO MATTER WHAT!

Seriously life is SO MUCH EASIER when communication around everyone's role and expectations are clear ... I rarely have any conflict with clients around payment or providing anything .... most of my challenging in my program currently are that when I opened I had 'centre mentality' and thought I had to accept EVERY INTERESTED PARTY into care and took on a client that while they follow all my contract and policies we do NOT share the same values about child rearing and as a result they do things with their kids that DRIVE ME NUTS to listen to or watch and over the years are harder and harder for me to 'look the other way' about because it is starting to impact their 'behaviour' in the program because when they were WEE they followed my word and rules with little question but now I get 'mom lets me use those words' .... um ya well its fine if your mom wants to let you use those words but at MY HOUSE those words are considered RUDE and there are so many nicer words we can choose instead

[Cadillac]

You are so right! I thought I had the same values and in many ways we do. Not in a few that are 'key though'.
I've been slowly and subtly bringing up small issues to squash them. I do really like these parents and their child despite the problems so I'll just continue with this as I do not in any way want to terminate care with this family.

[mom-in-alberta]

Flex; you mentioned that you aren't comfortable giving them advice because you aren't the child's parent... BUT you ARE the secondary caregiver, who spends close to, if not AS MUCH, time with that child. In my mind that makes you equally capable to assist in the raising and development of their child.
Now, do I think you should go in, guns blazing, and tell them they are doing it all wrong?? No, as much as it would probably feel good to do so, lol! But there are ways to correct parent behaviour as much as there are to correct children's behaviour!! Just like you did with the "flopping".....
I would absolutely put my foot down about payment. Do you charge it in advance?
And about the Fridays; I think I would let that one go, as it sounds like it was pretty open ended between you. Of course, common decency dictates that they should have let you know, grrrrr.

[Momof4]

Flex, it's so true what alberta said, and you can give the parents advice, but just carefully. I always let the parents know that I'm seeing things in a group setting where the child is with their peers and I'm preparing them for school where they will also be with peers at all times.

Then I tell them, this is what I see happening, blah blah, then I ask them if it happens at home and how they handle it there and I tell them how I handle it here. I'm letting the parents know that there is a big difference in home and daycare and in no way blaming their parenting skills. This gives them a chance to know that we are working together and they have the first opportunity to suggest an improvement. But there HAS to be an improvement, that's what I stress last.

And I also agree that you have to put your foot down about the payment. Don't let that happen again. We'll be waiting for your good news!