Wow... Please be very careful when proceeding with this person. You sound already like you're afraid of her. She's going to end up being in charge of your daycare, not you. As much as you want a full time child, do you really want a parent in your life who's going to stress you out and make you unhappy? See how you feel in person when she comes. Just keep in mind that you want to be in control, not anyone else. Good luck. Here's what you should say if she comes and you're getting bad vibes: "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is a good fit for your child or my family. I won't be able to take your child. I wish you all the best in your search for care. Thank you for coming."