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Euphoric !
Oh tough one for sure - not sure how I would handle this to be honest cause I am a sucker for having made a commitment and following it through as long as they are paying on time and following the rules?
However you kinda have to 'terminate' them if you have now promised space to 4 day a week family - not sure how you do that without 'bad feelings' on the Family A fault though - except perhaps cross your fingers that this is what she wanted TOO?
Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
Loris Malaguzzi
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By the way, how long you have to be working to be able to have maternity leave rights?
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Well tell her that she should have tell you about her pregnancy as you are only looking to fill the spot for long term not for temp. And also you can add what you are thinking about the whole thing. It will open her eyes.
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Euphoric !
Inspired by Reggio, I do get what you're saying about the commitment, but I am just getting bad feelings about the family.
I guess I just tell her the truth - I am just not sure we will be such a great match after all, and apologize profusely.
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Euphoric !
 Originally Posted by Alphaghetti
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I guess I just tell her the truth - I am just not sure we will be such a great match after all, and apologize profusely.
This is likely always the best ... the trick will be without making it be about the 'mat leave' and more about feeling that her needs might be best suited in a program that can offer the two days she truly needs or something ... I know for me I would approach it that personally I find part time infant care very challenging and upon reflection am concerned that it might to too hard to him to adjust specially when mom seems to also be feeling 'torn' about having to send him to daycare in the first place cause children are empathetic to mamas feelings. At this time you have decided upon reflection that it would be best in the long run for your program to seek an older full time child" or something like that?
Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
Loris Malaguzzi
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Cocoon .... I'm not sure if it's the same all across Canada but here in Ontario you have to have a minimum of 600 hours (last time I checked)
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The Following User Says Thank You to Crayola kiddies For This Useful Post:
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Wow, red flags all over the place with Family #1, especially from your other post with the transition needs and now finding out she is pregnant. Sadly, we do have to look out for ourselves and the family that wants 4 days/week, is not quite so needy and demanding and is not pregnant would be the logical choice for you. The families have to do what is best for their needs, but so do we!
As far as talking to the woman on the phone, just be honest and straightforward that you have been considering the two families and have made your choice now and it was a mistake to accept her deposit so you are returning it. It's your business decision and she may even be relieved.
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Needing enough weeks of work to get mat leave benefits again so sounds like the reason. That is how I got a 4 month old a couple years ago. Mom found out she was pregnant and needed to go back for 6 months so she would qualify for another paid year of mat leave. And moms wonder why employers treat them badly when all they get is 6 months work for 2 years on the payroll.
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After reading everything, I think would have done the same as you Alphagetti. I get the impression that this situation might be just short term.
I always now go with my gut and any time I haven't in the past, it back fired on me.
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A little late to weigh in here, sorry!
At first I was going to say give them a chance. After a couple weeks at work, she may be feeling better about this big change.
HOWEVER; I think you made the right decision, and you may be able to use her pregnancy as an "out". Return the deposit, thank them for everything, but let them know that you were looking for a family that could make a long term commitment to you. Wish them the best, and then bid them goodbye.
Hope it all goes well!
PS- Better to have to "choose" between 2 families than to have to "take what you can get", am I right??
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