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  1. #1
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Should I Term Family Before They've Even Started?

    Ok here's the sitch...

    The same mom who wanted to come all day this week with her son to help transition him has called in sick today for his first day. I get it. Kids get sick, and it may just be bad timing. But - I dunno. I just think she's having a really really hard time letting go, and I am a little worried she'll bail on me. I can deffo replace him if she does, but I have another family who are all ready and willing to sign for four days a week (instead of the three this family wants), but I don't have room for them. I really got along with the second family, as I also did with the reluctant mom.

    Reluctant mom has already signed paperwork and brought me a deposit, but I am really feeling leery. She mentioned in her interview that she had planned to stay home with her son, but her old job offered her a huge part time opportunity. She mentioned that she felt weird leaving him. She told me verbally that she wanted a 3 day a week spot, then when I sent her the paperwork, she filled it out with two days a week, and told me she changed her mind on bringing him for a third day. When I told her that it was a 3 day minimum, she conceded, and reluctantly agreed (again) to the 3rd day.

    Reluctant mom was also two days late getting back to me with paperwork, AND I stayed home all afternoon on Friday, as she was supposed to come by between 2:30 and 3:30, only to show up closer to 5pm without an apology. I kept dck's in all afternoon waiting for her. I wasn't too impressed.

    So what do you think, women? Do I call her to come pick up her deposit, and take the other family? Or do I give her a chance? I am very much looking forward to your replies, as I honestly can't decide what to do.

  2. #2
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    I think you know my opinion on this one from my comments about her transition time Anyone who wants to attend daycare with their child isn't ready to let go. The fact that she keeps changing form 3 to 2 days/week would concern me as well. She obviously doesn't 'have' to work as she had planned on staying home and those mom's always worry me as they can pull their child out anytime to stay home with them. I think the problem is the Mom, she's just not ready to let him go and return to work. Sounds to me like she will drive you nuts. If you have another family ready to go and feel that they would be a better fit, then I would refund her deposit with your apologies. You have to do what you feel is best for you and for your daycare, but if your already having second thoughts maybe its best to cut them loose before they become too much. Go with your guy, its rarely wrong! Good luck

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  4. #3
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    I would do what Michelle said- follow your gut

    I would call, apologize profusely and tell her it has nothing to do with the sick day but that you are having second thoughts and think that you may not be a good fit after all.

    Based on the extra income from the second family (1 extra day) would be my choice...especially if the second family seems really nice too. What if mom #1 signs with you (reluctantly) for 3 days and then a few months from now tries to back out again?? (by going back to 2 days)
    Last edited by Spixie33; 03-12-2012 at 12:56 PM.

  5. #4
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    This is a hard one!! If it were me, I would give it about 3 weeks. If erratic/annoying behaviour continues then I'd pull the plug and go with family #2. In the meantime, I'd let family #2 know that family #1 is currently on a 3 week probation to see how things go and that you will remain in contact with them. Good luck!

  6. #5
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    I'd go with your gut. Sounds like if you keep this family you are going to have problems the whole time as something is always going to bother her as she really does not want to be apart from her child and will probably look for any excuse to pull him out. I'd do a refund and tell her that you really have some reservations about caring for her child and that it is just not going to work out.
    If you like family #2 then I would go with them.

  7. #6
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    I would go with the family who needs 4 days. And from your post it seems you want the other family as you have concerns about this family. Who knows she might come one day and say "well actually I only need 2 days" I wouldn't risk.

    Good luck.
    Cocoon

  8. #7
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    I would go with family number #2. Reading your post, my perception of it is that this is also what you want to do! no?

  9. #8
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    Since she only brought the paperwork on Friday and then for the first day was away - as in child did not start as in the contract I would just contact her and say that you have changed your mind and that you do not feel that the relationship is going to work and to please come and pick up her deposit check. You might be surprised to find out she is just as relived as you are - one of the reasons she waited till the absolute last minute she could to bring the paperwork - she just mentally couldn't do it which is something you have alluded to. It also makes no sense if work offered her a job for 3 days, then she only needs 2 days of care then agrees to 3 - but that means three paid days, doesn't mean child will actually come the third day which while it is great to get paid for no care also means you will be weeks getting the child to settle in if he ever does since he will pick up on mom's apprehension.

    The most fussy families tend to interview the most number of people before choosing one so she probably has some other names to fall back on so I wouldn't feel too badly about abandoning them. Doesn't sound like she wants to go to work anyways.

    A family needing 4 days a week and comes with the insecurities is definitely a better fit for daycare.

  10. #9
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Ok, thanks everyone. I just talked to dad from family #2. They are going to swing by later with their deposit and paperwork. Now I just have to tell mom #1...yipes. OH! And she called me about half an hour ago to tell me that her son has roseola, so I guess he is legit sick. She expressed concern, though, as she is pregnant. It seems now as if it'd only have been a temporary placement anyway. Back to work to build up mat leave maybe? Dunno.

    So that leads to my next question. What do I say? How do I not leave it on bad terms with family #1.

  11. #10
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    she never told you she was pregnant? I can see if it was early on that she's not telling people, but...if she was totally trying to hide it from you that's not ok. Sounds like you dodged a bullet since I'm sure she would pull him the minute she hit those 600 hours for mat leave again!

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