Who would Terminate if this didn't improve?

[Cadillac]

I've mentioned this family a few times. It's the flopper, and the late payment (By the way they paid me first thing this morning, AWESOME!

In the last few months I've also come to my wits with her behavior during the day. She's Three, and she's a crier!

When she first came into care I worked really hard to curb the behaviour. She stopped crying when she had to go pee, wanted a drink, when I said no, and so on.

Last few months I've seen some SERIOUS regression. She's disrupting the program with serious silliness or . . . of course . . . crying. She cries over snack, activities (which she used to LOOOOOOVE!), lunch, nap, afternoon activities, going to the park, leaving the park. MY GOD!

My program is suffering immensely. With four 2 year olds it's important to keep their attention to complete an educational, or even just a fun, activity. Nothing is being completed anymore because of this girls behavior.

I've asked for a meting with the parents

Who would term if this didn't improve?

Am I just being snooty? Expecting too much since my other children are angels?

[fruitloop]

I would...and have but with a mutual agreement from the parents. Her parents didn't want her in a place that she didn't seem happy and I didn't want an unhappy child here. My situation was a bit different though...she was fine and happy and then over the summer break with her teacher mom, her transition back into daycare didn't go very well. There were a lot of changes when she came back. All the older kids were gone and new babies replaced them and she was now 1 of the oldest. It was a lot for her to take in and she spent a lot of time wanting to just be alone and cried a lot. The parents and I talked about it and they decided to move her somewhere with older kids.

[Cadillac]

I was playing with the idea that she's not that happy here. She's happy when she's doing what SHE wants, and only then. I know the rules are gray at her house. I think that she may be happier where she gets to just play all day. I worry about her transition to kindergarten as she is not close to knowing what she needs to. But . . . I'm not her parent. I can't keep her just so I KNOW she'll be ready for school.

[Sandbox Sally]

Flex, I had a 2.5 yo like this. She was miserable here. She would sit on my couch, and if we did any kind of transition, she'd melt down. I ended up having a very frank discussion with her parents, and they voluntarily decided to withdraw her to try a half day preschool instead. I am sure her parents don't want your little one to be upset every day either. I think being honest and open with them about what you're seeing every single day will make them act on her behalf and withdraw her from your day home. Sometimes, no matter what we do, or how engaged we have them, some kids just aren't going to mesh.

[Cadillac]

You're right. It sucks though. Hurts my heart.

She's happy when she gets to do whatever she wants ie. free time, outing, nap time.

I've sent the parents an email. I think I've done all I can.

*owwwwwwww my heart!*

[Sandbox Sally]

I understand. I miss Z too, but not as much as I missed my peaceful daycare, and my SANITY.

[Momof4]

I have to agree that a girl that age shouldn't behave that way and if the parents aren't working with you it's hopeless. That is my unwritten rule for my daycare but I do mention it to parents at the interview. I will go through ANYTHING and have, as long as the parents are working hard to improve any issue that arises. If not, I have terminated 2X in the past because of that, but have also continued with 2 other difficult children who came around quickly with their parent's wonderful help.

[lunademiel]

I have to agree that a girl that age shouldn't behave that way and if the parents aren't working with you it's hopeless. That is my unwritten rule for my daycare but I do mention it to parents at the interview. I will go through ANYTHING and have, as long as the parents are working hard to improve any issue that arises. If not, I have terminated 2X in the past because of that, but have also continued with 2 other difficult children who came around quickly with their parent's wonderful help.

Just out of curiosity, what could the parents do to help if her behavior was not like this at home?
Thanks in advance!

[mom-in-alberta]

Just out of curiosity, what could the parents do to help if her behavior was not like this at home?
Thanks in advance!

For me; when a parent says "Oh, they NEVER do this at home!!" I don't really believe it. I know that kids can act somewhat differently with parents vs other people, I do. But there MUST be some of the same behaviours, they just don't SEE IT.

And Sarah; I hope we aren't being too harsh on you. There is obviously just a difference in opinion. The challenge with this little girl seems to be that she is defiant and emotional over EVERYTHING. If it were just an issue of "I don't want to do a craft, today", I am sure that our original poster would not have this much of an issue. But as I mentioned, the little girl is refusing to do pretty much anything and everything asked of her. We have to draw some boundaries and rules somehow, right? Nobody is saying that we need to turn these kids into some kind of rule-following-automoton-robot-people. But in GROUP CARE, sometimes we need to do what the GROUP is doing. Even if it's not exactly what we want to do at that precise moment. We have to function as a unit. So if circle time is upstairs and the playroom is downstairs, then I guess free play at that time is not going to work.

In any case, I hope that things get better with this family real soon!!!

[Sarah]

And Sarah; I hope we aren't being too harsh on you.

Respectfull discussion is healthy!

You all made me realize something!

I still beleive that they all are kids, if not baby (some seem to not like that calling!!!) they are really young and we are there to teach them, by having reasonnable expectation. But our expectations should never be set by comparing to other kids, because they all are differents. Of course, the comparison can be helpfull to finding abnormalities (don't know if this word is the right one to use, sorry).