I am not sure what to think. Sorry for the long post, but please help.

[parentof1]

I am a mom to a 3 y/o boy and an ECE, so I have some exp. behind both formal and informal, and I don't really know what to do so I am posting here for help.

My son just started at a new dayhome (as I do not think it is a good idea for me to have him at the daycare at which I work so that favoritism, and stuff can be avoided)

Today is his fifth day, and he seems sorta happy to go, but I can't say. I ask him and he doesn't say much, and he is usually a very good communicator and can tell me in his own way when something is wrong.

His provider keeps saying that he doesn't want to follow her instructions, and is hard to handle that his behaviors were and are unacceptable, but when I ask for specifics..she just roles her eyes saying he is hard to handle....So I really don't know how to help her. She just doesn't seem to have patience. It looks like she says something once and if he doesn't do it he's a "unacceptable kid." (her words)

Yesterday I arrived to pick him up and his pants were soaked..like he had an accident, I asked why he wasn't changed as he has wipes, pull ups, and clothing there..Her answer..."He didn't want me to change him, and I didn't want to deal with that." Pardon? He goes to the potty most times, but sometimes it takes him a bit in a new place, and it helps him if they have a potty routine. I don't think she does...And she hasn't asked me how to help her with this.

His 3rd day he was her only daycare child, and yet she said he was "hard to deal with." I have called his other daycares/dayhomes for honest feedback (he has been in 2 others. They say, he can be challenging and wants to do everything for himself, but he eventually comes, and listens when you remind him of consequences, and give him praise for what he does right. He is the same for me.)

WWYD? Should I pull him? She doesn't really highlight any of his good behaviors, only his "bad" ones and its really starting to feel as if she is attacking my parenting...So it's hard to look at this fairly.