He won't stop crying!!!

[Littledragon]

But what do I do? Do I coddle him? Do I ignore him? He's doing the avoiding thing. Won't look at me, won't let me touch him. When I try to pick him up, he tries to climb off of me. It's at a point of ridiculousness. There's so reason for him to be like that and I'm at my wits end! How do I handle it? Everyone says it'll only last a little while, but in the mean time, how do I handle it?

[Inspired by Reggio]

....It's at a point of ridiculousness. There's so reason for him to be like that and I'm at my wits end! How do I handle it? Everyone says it'll only last a little while, but in the mean time, how do I handle it?

Although it may be hard for us to remember being an infant - there IS a reason for it hon - he is scared, anxious and unsure of his new environment ... not matter how loving and awesome you are you are not his primary caregiver and do not know his 'cues' yet for being hungry, tired, wet, soiled and so forth so might 'misread' them so he does not trust you yet and the only way infants know how to express anything is to WHIMPER, than CRY and if the need is still not met is to SCREAM to try to get that need met ... however because we cannot 'wave a magic bottle or diaper or crib' to meet the anxiety need like other infant needs it is hard to fix it leaving us feeling so very overwhelmed too and all we can do is our 'best' to relieve that scared and anxiousness as quickly as we can - lots of pre-visits with parents in your home BEFORE being left all day long really do cut down on this at least the intensity of it - which is different for every personality but the feelings are no less 'intense' for the kid who takes 2 days verses the kid who takes 25 days

My suggestion is whenever possible to YES HOLD them and comfort them during this initial stage of bonding with you - this is important that they learn to trust you WILL meet their needs - and been doing this 20 years and it will NOT SPOIL THEM to do this or start a 'bad habit' in your program cause once they trust you you can quickly wean off the need to be 'held' cause as he gets feeling more comfortable and crying less you start by leaving the time before you 'respond' a minute longer and longer and just soothing with your VOICE that he is ok, safe, you are there and so forth so he learns to self soothe which he can now do cause he trusts his needs will be met by you and the anxiety is now gone!

If he is climbing off you making holding him hard I would try swaddling him and signing and soothing to help him calm - but if it makes it worse cause some kids just do not like to be TOUCHED by a strangers than back off and do the 'verbal' portions of singing and soothing and when calmer than try the 'sitting beside playing games' and so forth where you can occasionally 'touch' him to show him you are ok ... and each day I sort of 'stretch' how far that invisible cord of comfort gets for newbies ... initially on that first day I do not leave the room without them in tow even to the bathroom if I have to and than during free play I play games of peekaboo with blankets and when they are good with that and playing more as long as within 'sight' of me than take it up a notch and I go around corners and come back in a 'fun smiles and game' fashion the better this goes the longer I can stay out of sight without them screaming cause they learn that trusting and that I will return and so forth.

I find it takes about 1 week to get a child 'happily playing' all day as long as I am within sight and another week for me to be able to step quickly out of the room and return and them to be ok with it and about a month and with some kids before I can GO PEE without them starting to whimper or follow me to the bathroom door to keep them 'safe' from the other kids.

Children who adjust to childcare quicker have family who have helped them A) by leaving them in the care of family or others for short periods during their maternity leave so they learn that mom and dad may leave but their needs get met by others so they learn to eat and sleep for others and they trust that parents do return for them B) children whose parents are responsive parents but who have taught them 'delayed gratification' aka that while your basic needs ALWAYS get met sometimes you have to wait a minute meaning if baby cries you DO NOT DROP EVERYTHING to tend to them - you can verbal couch that need will be met by saying 'you getting hungry - mommy be there in a minute' but making them wait that bit and so forth to finish what you were doing as well as that sometimes just because you WANT something does not mean you GET IT aka sometimes they are not 'allowed' what they are wanting - aka you cannot pull hair, you cannot smack your mama, you cannot touch certain things and so forth they have had 'rules' starting to be implemented cause babies are SMART and they do quickly get that when they are gentle they are held more but when they hit, pull hair, bit a finger they get set down and a facial expression on the adult 'changes' to one not so smiley

[Momof4]

But what do I do? Do I coddle him? Do I ignore him? He's doing the avoiding thing. Won't look at me, won't let me touch him. When I try to pick him up, he tries to climb off of me. It's at a point of ridiculousness. There's so reason for him to be like that and I'm at my wits end! How do I handle it? Everyone says it'll only last a little while, but in the mean time, how do I handle it?

Now that the weather is nicer can you go outside a lot? I find that newbie screamers are calm when going for a walk or to the park even if they just sit in the stroller and watch the other children. That worked well for me with my last daycare baby actually. It's really difficult if you get one of those children who don't like to cuddle. Cuddling is much easier for soothing. Can you rub his back and sing or talk to him to calm him?