Melt down madness

[jec]

I have a little guy ~ 18 months in my care who has been my dream daycare child. Always happy- full of energy! For the pats 2- 3 weeks he has been starting to have temper tantrums. Normal for his age and Mom and Dad have noticed it at home too. They are ignoring the behavior.
I've already addressed that moving forward drop off and pick up is quick as he is throwing himself down, not letting them put his jacket on and when up in their arms, arching his back etc.
This little guy has had a cold so I felt the melt downs that seem to be getting more each day are due to not feeling all that great. The little one is on the mend and the cold is almost gone. EVERYTHING is a melt down. If I ask for a toy that was in his mouth and put it up ..he throws himself down and has a tantrum (kicking feet and crying) if I re-direct him to another toy- it goes in the mouth...almost like he knows that I'm going to take it away as he puts it in his mouth and watches me he is doing it. I calmly tell him that we don't put toys in our mouths and ask for it- some times he is throwing it instead of giving it to me.
If I leave the playroom to get snack or bathroom- meltdown and halls on the gate. Time to leave the park- screaming, head back and throws himself down.

My question, how would you handle this. I've had terrible twos with all of my daycare kids plus my own but never come across a little one who gets so upset for everything. Do you think parents ignoring is upseting him? I used to walk away but now I pick him up and tell him that we don't kick and scream and redirect him with a book as he loves books and or something else. I just found that leaving it alone almost seems to bother him more and he gets louder.
I am doing a lot of positive reinforcement for his good behaivor, giving high fives and hugs for all the good things that he does but not sure which direction to go with these constant through out our day meltdowns.

[Cadillac]

A very stern this is not how we act, one word directions on what he could say instead of screaming, explain that you can't understand the problem when he is screaming, stickers for being able to pull himself together quickly after redirection, hugs and praise when he is able to pull himself together.

Once he is able to pull himself together quickly with these directions up the anti by changing the expectations to not throwing tantrums in the first place.

Something happened to trigger this. You may never know but it is important to do some serious thinking and talking with the parents about any changes big or small that happened prior to the beginning of this behavior.

The parents need to be on board with this form of 'correction' too. consistency is key.

If ignoring the behavior isn't working after a few weeks of starting, more action is needed in order to correct the behaviour

Remember that this child is not even two yet so use language they can understand when redirecting. Also slow your speech down and lower your voice. Lower speech help calm children and slow speech helps understand (This can be impaired when children are REALLY upset)

[jec]

Thanks flexfuncare ~ I've been checking to see if anyone replied. Thanks for the help!!
You really think something might have happened to cause his mini meltdowns..not just the upcoming 'terrible twos'

[Momof4]

It's a fine line because if he gets attention for the behaviour it could just magnify it, but you HAVE to deal with it! Do you have a timeout system in your daycare or how do you handle behaviour issues? I talk to the parents about EVERYTHING like this and tell them that it cannot be tolerated and that they want their child to learn how to behave properly so they can grow into a wonderfully behaved child and adult. You cannot just ignore him completely, but hopefully it is a phase because he doesn't feel well right now as you mentioned. I would definitely remove privileges and teach him that it is not acceptable. I do use timeouts but keeping in mind that toddlers have the attention of a fruitfly, so they are very short, but I talk to them sternly about the problem and don't let them go play again until they promise to be 'nice'.

[jec]

I talked to the parents tonight to find out how things are being handled at home ~ we need to be on the same page to correct his behavior. They are great...want to mirror what I am.

I'm not big on time outs as my experience in the past has only been that the little ones like to swing around in the chair or step. This little guy is so young I wonder if he is really going to know the reason behind his time out.

I have been firm telling him that he is not to act like it and hopes that it doesn't cause him to think of it as getting more attention. I only have 3 in my care right now so he gets a lot of time with me and being an only child he gets showered. Hope this too shall pass.
Thanks ladies. It's quite the melt down!! Just wanted to make sure that I'm on the right track

[jec]

I'm still new with only 2 years under my belt and want to do right by this little person

[Cadillac]

Thanks flexfuncare ~ I've been checking to see if anyone replied. Thanks for the help!!
You really think something might have happened to cause his mini meltdowns..not just the upcoming 'terrible twos'

Terrible twos don't come on like a storm, It's more like a slight drizzle that turns into a hurricane over time.

A sudden onset of these behaviors is a big red flag that something has thorn the child off. Now, that being said, it could be anything from a slight change in schedule to the unthinkable. It's usually hard to figure out unless its the latter of the two as things that we can easily adapt to might not be as simple to a one year old.

[Cadillac]

I'm not big on time outs as my experience in the past has only been that the little ones like to swing around in the chair or step. This little guy is so young I wonder if he is really going to know the reason behind his time out.

A one year is not exactly capable of sitting and contemplating why the time out happened but they sure as heck know that they did something wrong and are sitting out as a result (doesn't matter if they play with the carpet, they are still 'out') I start time outs at 16 months. Not for EVERYTHING mind you but definitely for aggression and such. Let me tell you they learn QUICK!

[Cadillac]

I'm still new with only 2 years under my belt and want to do right by this little person

Last one I SWEAR!!!!

Don't think that your lack of years in the field limits you ability to do right by the children. Give yourself a little credit.

[mom-in-alberta]

Totally agree with above posters.... it is a fine line between truly "ignoring" and showing them that their actions will not get them the attention they are seeking.
Given what you have described (ie; looking for your reaction as he puts it in his mouth) I would say he is absolutely "testing" his boundaries. Just stay consistent, and be glad that the parents seem to be doing the same.