3.5k
Daycare and childcare providers in Winnipeg, Toronto, Vancouver, Ontario etc. in CanadaGarderies à Montréal ou au QuébecFind daycare or childcare providers in the USA
Forum control
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    144
    Thanked
    11 Times in 10 Posts

    Has this ever happened to you?!?!

    Hello,

    So, I am going for vacation next week and I have a mother call me and tell me that she forgot her sons favorite shoes. I let her know that she could come by later that night as I would be home.

    At around seven pm she shows up to my apartment (does not buzz in, no idea how she got in???) and then just walks right into my place. She did not knock.

    I am not sure what to do about this because I feel it was very disruptive to my privacy and my partners privacy, he was very upset about it.

    Any advice on this subject? I will not see this family for two weeks as of tomorrow and not sure how to approach it as I believe she crossed a line. I would never walk into someones home without knocking...

    Thanks for the advice

  2. #2
    Shy
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    28
    Thanked
    5 Times in 2 Posts
    AFTER DAYCARE HOURS YOU KNOCK IN FACT ANYTIME YOU KNOCK. I'd nip it right in the buD, and send her an email saying that while you understand her need to get the shoes, that you will not tolerate disrespect, and that in fact you felt disrespected--A friend of mine has a three strike policy, and this would def be one of those for her! HOW RUDE!
    Last edited by parentof1; 03-23-2012 at 10:29 PM.

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,629
    Thanked
    949 Times in 781 Posts
    Well first of all, don't you lock your door? Yikes! My door is locked 24/7 and I live in a much smaller city than Vancouver! Yes, I agree that is very disrespecful!

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ottawa
    Posts
    2,419
    Thanked
    599 Times in 439 Posts
    This has not happened to me, but I would definitely send an email letting her know that you do not have an open door policy, especially when the daycare is closed and that in the future you would relaly appreciate it if she could knock or ring the bell. I wouldn't make it confrontational, just a friendly email to let her know. Maybe end it on a positive like "have a great two weeks and I look forward to seeing you and *** when we get back". As it is the first time, I would treat it like that. If you make it too confrontational, she will get defensive and things may get worse. Now, if she does it again after you have told her, that is different...then I would be giving her a warning of termination.

  5. #5
    jec
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by kangaroomama View Post
    This has not happened to me, but I would definitely send an email letting her know that you do not have an open door policy, especially when the daycare is closed and that in the future you would relaly appreciate it if she could knock or ring the bell. I wouldn't make it confrontational, just a friendly email to let her know. Maybe end it on a positive like "have a great two weeks and I look forward to seeing you and *** when we get back". As it is the first time, I would treat it like that. If you make it too confrontational, she will get defensive and things may get worse. Now, if she does it again after you have told her, that is different...then I would be giving her a warning of termination.
    Yikes ~ how uncomfortable for you to have to deal with this!!
    I would send her an email but remember that emails can be taken the wrong way with the best intentions when being sent. Like kanga says, don't make it confrontational. She will get her back up as she obviously feels like she wasn't crossing the line and maybe really comfortable with you.

    I like Kanga's idea of your open door policy but after daycare hours please knock as it's not just you in in the apartment

  6. #6
    Expansive...
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    775
    Thanked
    244 Times in 166 Posts
    Awkward!!! Maybe she thinks that you're better friend than you really are?! Still!
    Yeah, don't make it confrontational. Wish her a happy 2 weeks and say something like "...and if you wouldn't mind knocking next time you come over after daycare hours, that would be great! Thanks!" lol

  7. #7
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,405
    Thanked
    239 Times in 191 Posts
    Although it's weird, and rude.... I don't know that I would say anything. As Lisa mentioned, she obviously feels like you are "closer" in relationship, than you do. If she sees you as a friend, in any sense, this may be normal behaviour for her. My friends just give a quick knock and then come on in.
    However, if it happened again; I would mention it. I would make it a joke "Hey, can you do me a favor and knock/ring the bell? Hubby is worried you might see him in his undies, hahaha". Of course, this only works for after hours visits!! If you said this about visits during the day.... they may call the cops, LoL.

  8. #8
    Expansive...
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    580
    Thanked
    120 Times in 85 Posts
    I'd probably just start locking my door. I agree that this means she feels comfortable (regardless or how rude it was) She might have even saw your face or heard you sputter and probably figured out this was not ok.

    If she did it again I'd say something (nicely though)

    Stuff about tolerating disrespect and not having an open door policy, and so on . . ., . . . well . . . . I think we need to treat these types of relationships less 'business like' since they trust us with their children. That sort of alters our type relationship a little.

  9. #9
    Starting to feel at home... Sunflower's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    158
    Thanked
    9 Times in 8 Posts
    What she just walked it ??
    What if you or your husband had been naked.. just got out of the shower... whatever..
    That's just rude !

    If you are uncomfortable confronting her you can just lock your door.. or even have a sign on the door that says to knock before coming in.

    Some people!
    I don't have that issue with the parents . but the grandparents.
    When ever they come to pick upi the kids they always try the door without knocking and each time I tell them they must knock as it will NEVER be unlocked for security purposes.

  10. #10
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    2,697
    Thanked
    946 Times in 686 Posts
    The first time a negative behaviour creeps into a client relationship I tend to approach it with a 'sarcastic joke' to lighten the conflict of it a bit so sort of playing off of Sunflower something along the lines 'Wow so glad you feel comfortable enough to just walk in the house but just a heads up that my spouse likes to air the boys after daycare hours so in the future might be best to knock to avoid any awkward encounters' .... if a client did not GET the seriousness of the request after that first time the next time the HAMMER would drop with a 'Hey tried to approach this with humor the first time while giving you the benefit of the doubt it was just a momentary lapse in judgement - however I now feel the need to address this head on - this is my HOME and you may not enter it without knocking and waiting to be 'invited' into it. I need you to respect that otherwise we are going to have a problem with service moving forward."
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

Similar Threads

  1. Whatever happened to....
    By 5 Little Monkeys in forum The day-to-day as a daycare provider
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 03-18-2016, 03:37 PM
  2. Not Sure What Happened Here
    By Cadillac in forum Daycare providers' experiences with parents
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-11-2014, 08:04 PM
  3. Has this happened to you
    By kidzandme in forum Daycare providers' experiences with parents
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-06-2014, 01:27 PM
  4. It happened to me again :(
    By Mamma_Mia in forum The day-to-day as a daycare provider
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 01-03-2013, 07:21 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

A few tips...

Do not hesitate to refer to this article to help you choose a daycare provider, know which questions to ask, have an idea of what to look for...
Updates
We expect providers to keep their listing and available openings up-to-date. However, to prevent oversights, openings expire after 45 days.
Partner in your
search for a daycare provider