Bad start....

[lunademiel]

So what a great start I'm having...

First DCG was aggressive and only getting worse after 5 1/2 weeks so I needed to terminate.

Second DCG was supposed to start in May but Mom decided my policies were too strict and overwhelming when I wouldn't bend on my no bottle in bed policy! She had other issues too with scheduled nap times.

What am I supposed to do? Throw all rules out the window? Am I maybe being a little too strict? I guess people expect a "homier, relaxed" atmosphere with a dayhome? Is that even possible with multiple children?

UGGHHH I'm just so frustrated!

Luckily I have a very long list....

[Momof4]

Well, I'm really glad you have a long list but I think as we get going well in the business we really learn how to screen during an interview. The first year you tend to take in families who you shouldn't have allowed in the door. Don't get frustrated, just tell yourself that you deserve better, ok?

I'm flexible and tend to go with the parent's wishes, so if they want to keep their baby on a bottle until they are 2 or some silly thing, that's ok with me. I do wean them off their soother here before the parents do it at home and I do insist that parents respect my schedule regarding naptimes, meals, etc. That's why I made a rule that dropoff must occur before 9am and pickups must occur after 3pm because we are going outside shortly after 9 and I'm protecting the naptime until 3pm.

There are some things I won't be flexible about, like naptime/quiet time because I work such long days and I need a break. But there are a lot of things I'm very flexible about because everybody parents differently. As long as they ARE parenting, I'm happy.

[mom-in-alberta]

No, I don't believe that you were being "too strict". If you needed to let someone go due to aggression, that is a safety issue, not a personal belief conflict. And if the second mom had issues with you not allowing the bottle, and with naptimes, then she will probably find that a nanny may be a better fit. I would have said the same about the bottle, and explained it as a health and safety risk. It's not because I am judging this parenting habit, I just can't have milk dripping all over a playpen, etc. Naptime is NOT negotiable in my care, either. She will likely notice that it's the same with most group care arrangements.
If things are explained properly (as I am sure you did!) we can get on the "same page" as parents without making it seem like we disagree with their parenting, or are telling them to do it our way.
I think you just had a bit of a rocky start. Good luck moving forward!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I have been in the field for over 20 years and while there are SOME things we can bend/negotiate on within a group childcare program to meet individual and cultural needs of various families there are many that you CANNOT otherwise your program evolves into chaos with looking like a juggler in the middle of the circus trying to balance the varying needs and values of multiple clients and in the end you burn out because you have lost sight of YOUR values and authentic self!

If your business plan, if your policies and procedures and your program practices that you have taken time to reflect on and WRITE DOWN for perspective clients are all authentically based on your values and your authentic self so you can be proud and passionate about your program you should not CHANGE them for ANYONE!

So as Momof4 mentioned - I too do not care WHEN a child gets weaned off their bottle or soother for that matter because that is a very personal value and varies greatly in our culture so I do not have a policy in place cause it does not affect MY value system to see a child still on a bottle at two or still having a soother. My own written policy about bottles/soothers is that they be provided by the parents and that the 'contents' be provided by parents and that the use of both must be in a stationary position (aka you cannot walk around with a bottle or a soother for safety reasons) because IME that policy motivates them to get them on the cup cause it is cheaper and easier to have me providing fluids and as a result I rarely have a child past 16 months still on a bottle here and same with soother ends up quickly only being for 'nap' here because the child is up and moving around shortly after a year of age and therefore cannot have it during 'play time'

[Judy Trickett]

YOUR DAYCARE - YOUR RULES

You should not bend your core values and rules or you will only become resentful, bitter and hate every minute of your job.

I think one of the biggest hurdles for new providers is the interview process. You really need to get a "feel" for people and how they are in the interview. Once you become more experienced at interviewing Red Flags will be seen to you very obviously and for those types you can give a big old................NEXT!

The other thing you need to decide is Who You Are. This is important because who you are will be reflected in the type of daycare you want to have and that will also come out when interviewing parents. If you don't even know who you are, as a provider, then how are parents to know? You know?

Just keep working on it. Your first year is your biggest year for learning what does and does not work. You will be hit by the swing many times over.

[sunnydays]

You are not being too strict! You have your policies for a reason and they agreed to them by signing on with you. In particular, as others have mentioned, you cannot bend on naptime schedules! How can a caregiver have all 5 kids on different nap schedules? It would be chaos and you would never get a break. I also agree with you not giving a bottle in bed...it is your playpen and you will be the one having to clean it and replace it when it inevitably starts stinking like sour milk. As the other ladies have said, stay strong in who you are and what kind of daycare you want to have. I have only been doing this for just over a year, but I have learned so much! Mainly, although we need to work with parents and repsect that everyone has different parenting styles, we make the rules in our own homes and we do not have to allow parents to tell us what to do

[playfelt]

One thing I have found when interviewing is that I show them my policies but then go on to explain why I have them. They cover issues that have come up in the past so right from the start we both know were we stand. They are there for the protection of their child such as when a child that is ill can't come to care for the health of the others or why everyone needs to leave a hat at daycare so that no one gets sunstroke when we go outside since it isnt' fair for one child to prevent the others from being able to go out.

When you do that it helps them to relax. It is a legally binding contract they are reading and while it all makes sense to us even in plain english a lot of the terms and concepts are foreign to the parents and so they are naturally wary of the fine print so to speak. I know I am bad but I do tell the parents that what is in my contract is in there because I have been taken advantage of before but that I will reasonablly deal with a family and their needs as they arise or something to that end. The idea being I can be flexible but within my own guidelines. Ex a fever of 99.9 and one of 100.1 are virtually the same so I would go by the child's behaviour/symptoms about calling the child to be sent home not the magic number. I have a late fee but there is a grace period determined by me on a client by client basis - the lady that works in the neighbourhood gets less leeway than the parent driving for an hour through rush hour traffic.

[Momof4]

Very good advice above! I interviewed a lot of families last year because I had 2 full-time spaces come up in Sept. It took me until this spring to realize that I had been so very honest during those interviews that I probably unintentionally scared a lot of people away. Now I'm glad of course because I did find two wonderful families with very similar childrearing philosophies to mine and who are working out great.

My point is that you DO NOT want those red flag families, as Judy mentioned, in your daycare, period. Be honest and forthcoming at the interview and you won't end up with families you don't want in your daycare. During an interview I tell families they are interviewing me and I am interviewing them and we need a good match. I tell them I will do anything to help with any issue if we are working as a team, at daycare and at home. I tell them that I'm here to protect ALL the children.

Yes, you do want to have a homey atmosphere because we are able to nurture the children a lot more than is available in centre care, but the contract is LAW!

[lunademiel]

I'm flexible and tend to go with the parent's wishes, so if they want to keep their baby on a bottle until they are 2 or some silly thing, that's ok with me. I do wean them off their soother here before the parents do it at home and I do insist that parents respect my schedule regarding naptimes, meals, etc.

I would just like to say that I'm totally fine with a bottle, just not IN bed as this is a health and safety issue for me.

[lunademiel]

I think one of the biggest hurdles for new providers is the interview process. You really need to get a "feel" for people and how they are in the interview. Once you become more experienced at interviewing Red Flags will be seen to you very obviously and for those types you can give a big old................NEXT!

I really need to learn how to do interviews! I have many coming up this week! Any key points I need to ask? I have a few questions already but the more the better!