How do you let parents know you don't want to offer them a place?

[Cocoon]

Hello everyone.

Here is the situation. I met with a family and I found the mother a bit controlling. I mean she wants to know everything. I do understand why she wants to know but I feel a bit uncomfortable. I received her positive decision(she picked my day home after visiting quite a few) as if it was a bad news. I'm thrilled of course as this mean I can satisfy picky parents' too but I'm not so thrilled to know she is picky and my hubby thinks she will be demanding and questioning what and how I do things.

I have another family who already informed me that they want to place their kids into my day home. And I liked that family better as they are relax and they themselves told me that they would do anything and everything to make the transition easy for their child and for me. Which I like it very much and there was a genuine warm.

How do you suggest that I back out from this?

Thank you very much.
Cocoon

[Dayhome Mamma]

I had this scenario too and I say worry about yourself and your well being first. Run from the controlling mom as fast as possible. Its better earlier than later, especially if you were able to sense that. ALWAYS listen to your guts. The family can find another place. You can be honest and say that you had met with another family at a similar time and although you really liked them, this controlling one, that unfortunately the other one felt like a better fit so you will be unable to provide them with a spot. And that's it. You probably won't ever hear from them again. And your life will be so much better for it!!! And now YOU are in control. And YOU are the one picking the clients that get to be a part of your life. YEY!!! Don't feel guilty. Its your life. Make it as good as possible for yourself. Its already a hard enough job as it is. no need to make it worst with a picky, controlling mom that could make you miserable. Best of luck! (Don't go with the picky one!!!)

[Cocoon]

Thank you Dayhome Mamma. Exactly what hubby said. I'm feeling more comfortable with my decision.

Cocoon

[mom-in-alberta]

Yes, I would also go with the family I felt more comfortable with right away. I would say "Thank you very much for meeting with me, and for your positive response. As I am sure I mentioned, I have limited spaces available, and unfortunately I have chosen a family that I feel is a SLIGHTLY better fit for our dayhome. Thanks again, and best of luck in your search."
When I am interviewing a family, I always say that I have other families that I am meeting with, to give myself an "out" if need be.

[Mamma_Mia]

I personally wouldn't add the <SLIGHTLY better fit> part....I believe in Karma and you never know..LOL

I would say "Thank you very much for meeting with me, and for your positive response. As I am sure I mentioned, I have limited spaces available, and unfortunately I have accepted another family for our dayhome. Thanks again, and best of luck in your search."


No reasons why you're not going with them just the fact that you are not is enough.

GL!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Awesome responses ladies!

When I end an interview with clients I always say 'Thank you so much for your interest in my program and your time this evening. I have a few more interviews booked for this space and hope to be finished my interviewing process by X date and be able to make a final decision at that time. If you have finished your interviewing process before that time and are feeling I am your number one choice please let me know ASAP so I can keep that in mind in MY final decision process and I will get back to you by X date.'

Cause the FINAL decision to offer a space to someone within my program is MINE ... ideally my first choice is a match to someone who also has contacted to say I am their first choice as well and they sign on. If not I keep interviewing!

I basically say what Mamma Mia suggested and also offer to share their 'need of care' info with my local childcare network if they have still not found a suitable match to their needs as well as referring them to check on here and the local OEYC for more providers closest to them.

[Sandbox Sally]

I personally hate when people assume that because they have chosen me, that they have the spot. I like Mamma Mia's response. Simple and the truth. NEVER take on a controlling family if you have a choice.

Having said that, I had a horribly picky mom. They were my first family, and I felt like I was under constant scrutiny, and was being questioned about everything I did. I felt disrespected, and ended up terminating them. Mom called me, frantic. We spoke for an hour on the phone. I was honest, and told her everything that bothered me. She promised to back off, and I reconsidered. They are now one of my best families! So, sometimes it can work.

[Momof4]

No, no, no, you don't need that in your life! That's the beauty of being self-employed and in control of who you work with in your daycare. I'm such a happy woman because all of my daycare parents truly appreciate my hard work and dedication to my daycare and their families. If you have parents who don't value you then get rid of them! It's not always simple but it does make life good.

[angelina]

aha, thank you for the ideas. I have one short term contract ending soon, so I have to write a notice that i cannot renew them. they are problem controlling too, so I can't wait till its all over and start with someone better.