Life Goals of a DCP

[Judy Trickett]

I just discovered, after much self-observation that in the last year I have gone through a bit of a mid-life crisis with regard to daycare. I am a 'doer'. I have always been a career ladder climber. I have always been the "best of my class" both in school and in the job market (before my own kids and daycare). I used to work in a fast-paced job that required me to be very aware of things and act quickly and precisely with regard to the business and the people in the business. And by being a "doer" I was rewarded for it.

So, it occurred to me in the last little bit that I have been flailing A LOT in the last year with regard to daycare. It occurred to me that I didn't want to admit that this was 'it' for me. That my head is literally against the cold, glass ceiling of daycare. I feel I have "mastered" all I can with regard to the business side of daycare. I have no where left to go and this makes me panicky and feeling "useless".

I even went out and took additional, expensive, training this past year thinking this would be what I "needed" to feel better and more fulfilled. But now that I have that training it's not any better. I'm just a better trained, unfulfilled person.

Just in the last week I have sort of had an epiphany........ I realized that YES, this is IT. All that I currently HAVE with regard to daycare IS as far as you can go. It doesn't get any more exciting than this. It doesn't get any better and you don't get any more recognition or reward. So then I had to remember that although this is it I should also be glad that this is it! I don't have to fight or climb or constantly feel like I am proving myself to some business hierarchy. I should be GLAD that I CAN have easy days that include sitting on a lawn chair in my back yard while getting paid.

I think sometimes we have to come full circle to realize that what we think we want isn't really what we DO want and that sometimes, just sometimes, what we want is exactly what we have.