Mom's Waffling About Leaving Us

[Sandbox Sally]

Need advice, guys. I have had a little guy here since August, and we all love him to bits. He's adorable and easygoing, and his parents are really cool. His mom is a school teacher so he'll be out all summer. He's currently here 14 days a month, which I kind of regret signing up for, as it leaves an erratic hole to fill with another part timer.

His mom had been planning on taking a leave of absence from work, so I began to advertise a full time spot starting the first week of July. I have had numerous inquiries, and was planning to start interviewing for the space. Yesterday she told me that she was no longer taking leave, and I was left wondering if I should wait, or inform all my potentials that the space was no longer available. I sent her a quick email during quiet time today asking her if she still plans on having her boy back with me in the fall, as I've had inquiries, blah blah...

Mom went for allergy testing today - she's been really sick for months. Turns out she is HYPER allergic to dogs. They have one, as do I. Her allergist said that even the dander on her students' clothing could cause her to have reactions, even if she didn't have a dog of her own. They are even considering getting rid of their own dog. So she mentioned that she'd hate to pull him out of here, but they might have to.

I hinted that I need to know ASAP, but I am not sure she understands. She said they'd think about it and get back to me. My question is, how long do I give them? Should I just do the interviews anyway, even though it's a tentative spot? I don't want to be left high and dry should they decide to move on....

Ugh. This whole thing sucks. I am sad about him, I am upset at missing potential clients...just sucks.

[Dayhome Mamma]

I would go ahead and interview and say this spot is pending depending on the leave of one of the children and that you will be able to confirm its availability by XX if the new family also is very interested in the spot. That way if you meet a non desirable family you have an out, or if you meet a better one than you can move on swiftly and let this lady know that you need her decision by xx as you have another family in line to start xx if she is unable to continue, and that you need to know by xx.

[Momof4]

Definitely start interviewing because you have to take care of yourself and your business. You aren't going to part with your dog are you?

[Inspired by Reggio]

I would interview as well for a spot for July that could be either a 'summer only' space or move to a permanent full time spot for the Fall if they do not return....if you find someone who only wants summer care you are covered for that and if you find someone who wants into the Fall you can than decide to either keep them if they are full time and give the other family LOTS of notice that it is in the best interest of everyone to sever the arrangement as you cannot part with your dog and do not want to put mother risk as well as a full time client is a better business decision over a 14 day and summers off commitment!

[Sandbox Sally]

Thanks all. And to answer the question - I would never give up my dog for anyone (well except maybe my own children).

[Cadillac]

Interview . . .

and I would give them a date to let you know by . . . . a few days MAX. not fair to leave you hanging. . . .

[mom-in-alberta]

I would go ahead and interview and say this spot is pending depending on the leave of one of the children and that you will be able to confirm its availability by XX if the new family also is very interested in the spot. That way if you meet a non desirable family you have an out, or if you meet a better one than you can move on swiftly and let this lady know that you need her decision by xx as you have another family in line to start xx if she is unable to continue, and that you need to know by xx.

I would do exactly this. Begin looking for someone to fill the spot. Give mom an exact date that you will require an answer by, and if you haven't heard, I would have to say that means she is leaving.
You don't have to be rude or angry, but she can't just leave you twisting in the wind here. Otherwise you will find that she gives you notice, and you're left scrambling to fill the space. I suppose in that way, it's good that it's only a p/t slot. Based on what I am seeing, I don't see how they could stay, if she is that allergic. Only one course of action... sad though it may be for you to say goodbye.
Good luck, my dear!!!

[playfelt]

Not really understanding what her waffling is about. She is allergic to dogs to the point her health is suffering including coming in contact with her child who has been around a dog. She needs to move her child to a home without pets and deal with her own pet. Hanging on till she finds something else, hoping it will go away, not sure what she is waiting for.

Especially considering she is part time, a teacher that doesn't need care all summer so has plenty of time to find something for Sept I would be inclined to terminate her as of the end of the school year and advertise to fill the spot. I would use the reasoning that for her health you realize that she doesn't have a choice but to move to a pet free home and that you wish her well but will be available to her till end of school year.

That allows you to advertise for a full time child so you come out ahead but really what choice is there if what she is saying about her medical condition is true. Right now she is in denial that she needs to get rid of her own dog. But even if she doesn't leave care now she should over the summer.

[Sandbox Sally]

Playfelt, I think you hit the nail on the head. I think she's in denial about having to get rid of her dog. I really think you're right, that I have to assume that I am losing this little guy whether it be by her decision or mine.

Crappy thing is, she's become great friends with another mom from my group, and I really don't want to upset the balance by terminating if ykwim.

[Inspired by Reggio]

...Crappy thing is, she's become great friends with another mom from my group, and I really don't want to upset the balance by terminating if ykwim.

I would not look at is as 'terminating' but in making the hard decision to do what is BEST for both them and yourself ... if she is THAT allergic to dogs your home is no longer the ideal arrangement no matter how much she loves you or your program and you are just helping to pull off that bandaid of realization for her by pushing her ... she might actually be grateful cause she might be thinking it is a shitty thing to do to YOU terminating YOU over a DOG ... kwim?