Terminating after a year of care

[apples and bananas]

Hi Everyone...

Anyone have any experience with terminating a child after almost a year of care?

This was the first family that I took on. They have always paid a day late, drop offs and pickups are different every day. Late drop offs happen all the time without any notice, just a "sorry" at the door. So they're not the best family to work with.

I've been having a lot of trouble with their little one lately. Always been a challenging one, but lately I've been seeing increased poor behaviour. It was ok when I started as I could offer one on one care, but now that I'm growing and taking on more children it seems that this child is a negative effect on the group and with no improvement. And after a year the child should know boundaries in the daycare.

I'm really afraid that I will start to see a negative effect on the new children I have coming in.

I have discussed solutions and concerns with the mom several times and she never has any direction. She just says "I know it's a challenge, I don't know what to do about it"

She drops them off without breakfast (sometimes after 9am) and often with little sleep. So I'm really not feeling supported by the mother.

I'm starting to feel that I'm not qualified to address the behavioural concerns that I'm seeing and without any improvement I can't see how this is the best situation for the little one or me.

The most frustrating is that I have a waiting list a mile long with plenty of families that would fit much better into my daycare environment.

I'm at my wits end with this family!

[Crayola kiddies]

Just terminate .... You really don't have to give a whole if reasons .... You could just say ...
Dear xxxxx
This letter is to serve notice that due to ongoing behavioural issues and a general air of disrespect to myself and my business that I will no longer be providing care to xxxxx. The last day if available care is ..... All fees are still required whether xxxx is in attendance or not.
Regards .....xxxxx


Make sure you get your payment Before handing out the letter. Keep a copy for yourself.

[busydaycarelady]

I understand. After nearly 2 years of care for a particular family, I am going to be terminating in a couple days. Their child's behavior has gone downhill over the last year and mom and dad are unwilling to take the steps to correct it. Plus, the disrespect my illness policy, pick up late, drop off early or late. It is so tough, I know. But, once the are gone I know I will feel a lot hapier and have easier days ahead of me.

[Dayhome Mamma]

I had to tell a family that they had to find another place as well this past month after a year of care and it was for similar reasons though it started with potty training which I was getting no consideration towards in terms of what I was saying. They were totally not listening to me and I felt like I was running the dayhome around their child from the start. From the "he's never allowed to watch tv. to the we don't believe in the authoritative figure". But as most mistakes in this career, he was my 2nd and I was willing to cater to how parents wanted their child to be taken care of. So in the end his behaviour was getting worst and worst by the minute due to him acting out against the potty training that his parents decided on making him go through. He does not listen to anyone, both my assistants are fed up and annoyed with him, he used to be a perfect little example for the kids, and these days I've been so dreading the behaviours he has been showing to the kids, and so embarassed when other parents pick up their own kids and he decides to act up. It looks bad on me, but he is out of control himself because his parents do not believe in time outs/ him having an authority figure, but I think that is starting to change fast. And though I don't think he is a bad child in general, I'm glad that its finally coming to an end cause if it wasn't for the potty training, I'd be having to terminate because of his behaviour. Today I'm throwing a little good bye party for the little boy and tomorrow is his last day, and my own party day that night with a friend to celebrate my new found freedom. So either way, he was gonna be needing to go somewhere else. I am now in the tougher mindset that this is my space, these are the expectations, this is how we run it, and if it doesn't fit you and your family then please keep looking and best of luck in your search for a place that can better cater to your needs. It's already hard enough to find childcare here with available space, let alone a high quality one. So if you have a long list, go for it. I think the problem with us is that we get involved too emotionally with the families. But once you do it once, it won't be as hard the second time. Just remember that its your life and your livelihood and you can make it as good as you want for yourself. You don't exist to just serve everyone. Best of luck! And hope you enjoy your new freedom soon!

[apples and bananas]

Thank you everyone! I'm set on termination. I just can't risk having the other children start taking on the poor behaviours. It's just not a good fit anymore. Now I just have to get up the courage to do it and decide what length of time I'm willing to give them. Oh, and their older son is with me before after school. I may offer to continue with him until the end of the school year. I can't imagion they'd take me up on that, but it may make the termination of one a little easier.

You're right. My home, my rules, my business. That's why I started working for myself in the first place right?

Thank you all for your stories, they have helped tremendously!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Wow you have a huge heart - the late payments and being late being picked up would have resulted in termination a long time ago here cause I cannot stand being disrespected in my own home and those are both signs of lack of respect!

As for the behaviour - your home, your business and your program and therefore you ARE the expert in the expected behaviours of the children with in it - if parents are not willing to do the work to help their child MEET those expectations than your program is no longer a match for them ... they need to seek a program with different expectations for behaviour.

I would do the

"Dear X;

After careful consideration and reflection of the quality of program I desire to offer to all of my clientele I have come to the conclusion that ABC Daycare is no longer the ideal fit for your families needs as we seem to have too many differences in child rearing philosophy and approach to guiding behaviour.

As a result our childcare arrangement will be coming to an end effective X date (give however much notice you feel is fair but be prepared for THEM to leave early and I personally would be willing to refund them any 'deposit' just to get rid of them at this point).

I am confident that there is a program that can better meet your families needs and have enclosed a list of local home childcare advertizing sites and directories to help in your search and wish you all the best in your future childcare arrangements.

sincerely
X

[apples and bananas]

Fantastic Letter! Thank you I will certainly use that as a guide when i write it up.

[mom-in-alberta]

Nothing new to add here, but good luck and let us know how it goes!!