Skysue, I am like you, my kids go to bed between 8 and 8:30 (they are 22 months and almost 4) because we like having time in the evening with them and I am with them all day too! I know most of my dck's go to bed way earlier...although for some of them it's because they are young and get tired by 7pm. I have encountered this attitude as well..."I don't care if she/he naps"...well I DO! However, I also have a pretty great group of parents at the moment who mostly seem to get that I need a break. It is for their child's well-being as well..a tired grumpy caregiver is not going to be able to keep going without losing patience.
By the way, Allpha, I also find that giving them a morning nap helps the afternoon naps go better...then they are not overtired. I have three 13-15 month olds and they all still morning nap..I hope to cut it soon as I would like to do more outings, but they seem to need it!