Conflicting Beliefs/Opinions

[Sandbox Sally]

Think I'm almost ready, guys...

Today she is not only screaming her head off right now during quiet time, but she has cried ALL. MORNING. LONG. She cried at the park, she cried in my yard with my cool new play house and sand and water table and slide. She cried during snack. She cried during lunch. Well, you get the idea.

I emailed her mom just now and let her know how it's been going. I asked for advice, and asked her how things have been going at home sleep wise. I guess I'll see what she says, and try til the end of the week, but seriously, if it's no better, I will have to let her go. Bummer.

[Skysue]

I had a child like this and it took 3 months. Is she full time or part time.

Stay consistant and on routine with this one as she needs it.

As It's really hard on her, all you can do is put her in her nap room with white noise and she will adjust trust me. If she screams at the park keep her in her stroller as long as she is safe & she will be fine. How is she when you try holding her?

[sunnydays]

Ugh...I had one like this and after 9 months I finally had to let her go (there were other issues too). If I had been more experienced at the time I would have let her go in that first month...at almost 2 years of age she started crying all the time again everywhere we went...it was awful and we drew crowds everywhere we went.

[Sandbox Sally]

kanga,

Yes. That's the thing. I had a 2 year old crier for 8 months, and her mom finally pulled her out a month ago. I will not do another 8 month stretch. I am DONE with the constant crying after a certain period of time. I think two weeks is more than enough time to adjust, especially since she's been in care before. I just can't do the half hour nap. Cannot and will not. I basically just told her mother this via email. She replied to my last message by saying that the dcp she had before would get a good 30 min to an hour out of her. Uh. No.

I am drawing up the termination letter now. If this doesn't change this week, it's being sent home with her on Thur (she's not here Fridays). Thanks for the advice, ladies.

[Momof4]

Aw, so sorry it isn't working out. We need and deserve our middle of the day quiet break time or we will lose our everloving minds! Best of luck to you with the replacement family.

[Sandbox Sally]

I've decided to give her an extra week. Apparently, there were a few things that I was unaware of, and now that I am aware, I think she just needs some extra time.

Mom's a first time mom, and she's been giving her 8-9 hours of sleep a night since daycare started. No wonder she's not napping and is a cranky girl...she's not sleeping enough! Also, dcg is teething, and her mom tells me that the last time she was teething, she was beside herself, so I think another week or so could make a big difference. Mom called me last night and said, "omg I totally see what you dealt with all day! she's a mess, and this totally isn't her."

So we're trying Tempra every for hours, and that seems to have helped a bit, and I have put her down for an hour in the AM both yesterday and today, and so far...well, we'll see.

[sunnydays]

Good luck Alpha! I feel for you! I think it is reasonable to stick it out for another week and see if you can get any improvement. It does sound like she is overtired. I have one little guy who was on one nap until he started with me at 12 months, but he had such a hard time sleeping at afternoon naptime that I tried givingin him a morning nap and it was like a miracle...he started sleeping better in the afternoon and even slept better at night for the parents. Sleep begets sleep. My own kids sleep between 11 and 12 hours at night and still take a good 2 hour nap in the afternoon. It does vary from kid to kid, but they do need more sleep than us! Also, it depends how early she is getting up in the morning. I hope the AM naps help. Sending quiet naptime vibes your way!

[Momof4]

It's great that the Mom is understanding and willing to work with you and appreciates your advice. I see promise there, hope you do too! If the parents are working with me I will always keep trying.

[Littledragon]

This is the way that I see it: you are running a business. Yes, you are helping people raise their children, but above all, you are running a business. Mom/dad and caregiver need to be on the same page. If that is not possible, then it's not going to work. Mom and dad need to follow the same schedule you're doing - at least for the beginning. The child is now with your the majority of her life, so you are the "ruler". They need to help you help them. You are offering them a service, they are not "entitled" to you. If they are not willing to work with you and help you help them raise their child, then cutting the cord seems to be the only answer.

I'm struggling right now with a dad who drops his kid off after lunch without having fed him lunch! This is not going to work! And I have told them - if you cannot follow my guidelines that are set for a reason, I cannot continue to help you. I am running a business - a very tricky business. If one string breaks, the whole thing could fall apart. If you have a baby that is waking up and crying and waking up the rest of the kids, it's just not ideal. In ANY job, you would have a 1 hour break, if not a one hour break and two fifteen minute breaks. It's the LAW, why should we be any different? Naps are to teach children healthy sleeping habits, but they also to help you. If you're not getting your break, then you're not at your best which means you can't do your job properly.

[mamaof4]

The first comment by the mom had me thinking it was time to end it-- but the fact that she called and sympathized with you makes me think that giving her the extra time is a good idea.

My kids go through phases of being good sleepers and crap sleepers- even at HOME!

I hope next week gets a lot better.