At a loss....need some advice!

[Bookworm]

Playfelt- I was going to try the booster seat at my breakfast bar today instead of the tray and see how it goes, but honestly I don't think it will work. This child is very stubborn and gets her way at home. I do only give her one or two pieces of food due to the throwing.
Today at drop off, mom informed me they had a "picnic" last night for dinner and her daughter ate way more than she ever has (I wonder why). I told her that it was because she got her own way and that I was going to continue with the booster.
There is no way this mother is going to wean her off a bottle right now. I think she will be on one for awhile yet but I suggested to her mom to bring in soy milk for her daughter, but we will see if she does.

On a side note, at what age do you allow kids to sit at the table to eat (not in a booster etc)?

Thanks for all your advice.

[playfelt]

I don't transition to the table till they have developed a few table manners as in no longer need the tray to catch all the messes for one thing but rarely before 18 months. Each child is different and it depends on how well they balance, can get on and off the chair. I start by having them at the table when we do circletime or craft and observe them sitting there colouring.

I will start with snacktime which is shorter and generally less messy so sitting at the table for a couple crackers not a meal. No bottles are ever served in highchairs or at the table. A cup is offered. If not drank then it goes back into the bottle and after everyone else has finished and gone on to play the "baby" can sit on the floor in the kitchen with their bottle while I clean up. We are talking a child over a year here not a real infant.

[Bookworm]

I tried putting her chair up to my table, but she still freaked. She did finally calm down and just sat in her booster, but no food was on her tray as she kept throwing it. I was able to feed her a yogurt. She cried, but ate it as long as she could hold her soother and put it in her mouth (gross). So progress has been made somewhat. I'm going to suggest to her mother to keep putting her in her highchair at home as I think I may know what is going on.
Before she was off sick, the dcg was cutting some molars. She would go in her booster fine, but when she started to eat would cry (her mouth hurt). So now I'm wondering if she associates the booster and eating with pain?? Maybe I'm looking too far into this...but I figure if I keep putting her in there and showing her that eating is not painful (always) then we may get over this (hopefully).
Thanks to you all for your input!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree with the others .... the expectation to sit in a CHAIR for meal time is not unrealistic or harmful ... you do not have to EAT but you are expected to sit and keep the group company.

I agree with Playfelt... I do not use highchairs in my program - everyone sits at the child size table and 'infants' under 18 months sit in a booster seat that has the option of a tray or no tray which sits on a 'child size' seat at the table when they are 'wee' they have the tray on cause they are messy and need it - as they master eating I remove the tray and push them up to the table and eventually I take away the booster seat and try just at the table - if they do not STAY sitting they go back in the booster until they 'master' staying seated properly ... this way we are all at the same level and meal time is more social and positive for everyone.

If a child is SCREAMING and making the meal not so enjoyable I move their chair away from the group where I can see the child out of the corner of my eye but the child cannot see the group and with the removal of the 'audience' so to speak and they tend to calm down more quickly and want to return to the group setting.

[Judy Trickett]

I do not use highchairs in my program - everyone sits at the child size table and 'infants' under 18 months sit in a booster seat that has the option of a tray or no tray which sits on a 'child size' seat at the table when they are 'wee' they have the tray on cause they are messy and need it .

Me too. ALL my furniture is child-sized. I think it is very important in fostering independence that children have furniture tailored to them that THEY can manipulate and feel a sense of pride in using properly. Child-sized furniture allows children to come to the table themselves, seat themselves, and then push their chair back in themselves when done and help to wipe down tables etc. Children need to be given the appropriate materials in order to learn how to participate in practical life skills.