What would you do in this situation?

[playfelt]

I think this is one of those situations where you deal with the child infront of the parent as a way of showing the parent how to parent.

When the child has the candy you tell them to please give the candy back to mom because it is an unhealthy breakfast and not acceptable at daycare. I know you think you need candy in exchange for good behaviour but that is not true. I expect you to show appropriate behaviour here at daycare just because that is how we get along with our friends and I see no reason why you can not show the same behaviour at home. Give mom back the candy so we can move on with our day. Mom isn't going to change but you might be able to get the child to change or for mom to see that there are ways to get cooperation without bribery.

If nothing else you have made it known to mom what you expect. If child doesn't give the candy back nor mom take it then interceded and "assist" the child holding out his hand to mom for her to take or even taking it and giving to mom yourself. Mom will leave with the wad of chocolate - not knowing what to do with it and child will scream but they will get over it usually pretty quick. The more often this is done the child will learn the pattern - just like with a soother, toy, etc at the door.