So...How long do I let her cry before I move on?

[Sandbox Sally]

Edited for peace of mind

[sunnydays]

Wow! 5 weeks! That is rough. I think I'd be ready to terminate personally. It's sad, but 5 weeks is a long time to adjust (assuming she is full-time). Good luck with the decision.

[playfelt]

As part of the conflicting beliefs could also be different parenting styles and the child is not willing to adapt. In that case there is no hope unless you want to get downright stubborn - which can be translated as mean by some then it isn't going to work. I doubt mom is working to help the situation as much as she might be letting on because she won't realize what behaviours she is doing or not doing that is actually contributing to the problem.

If you have options then let them go. If you don't and need the income then work with the child at your house in spite of the mom and it may take quite awhile longer. Also realize the older the child gets the more they will mature and understand what is acceptable and not.

[apples and bananas]

5 weeks???? You're a stronger woman then I am! I have a new little one that cries most of the day. But she still naps for 2 hours and eats like a champ. And she's getting a little better and better every day. I can't imagion going 5 weeks with the constant crying and the short naps. I think you've done all you can... let them go and get your sanity back.

[michellesmunchkins]

I had one who took 6 months!!!!!!! Parents were not on board for setting up similar 'parenting' styles and it REALLY affected this little one. I struggled and tried everything I could think of for 6 months straight. Now this little one is the perfect child and adjusted just fine. Took forever and not sure I would ever struggle that long again, but it did get better I can totally relate to how frustrated you are, there were days when I would just want to cry along with the little one. The others in daycare didn't like this particular child for the longest time because of the crying and even the parents would question it when they picked up their child and this little one was screaming bloody murder...my only suggestion is to be as stubborn as they are. I did all the coddling, the picking up, the telling it would be ok, and finally just got to the point where we would all ignore it and move on with our day. If she cried, she cried but we still did everything we had planned for the day...once I started to ignore it and the other kids ignored her it stopped within about 2 weeks. I really and truly believed she knew exactly what she was doing and got away with it at home..

[Sandbox Sally]

Just what I needed to hear. Her mom even came to get her early today, and asked me how long I was willing to let this go on. I just don't think that we're a good match.

I do have options. I am happy for this. I can't help but feel defeated, though!

[Errbear]

I've got some of you beat in the crying child department....a whole year!...yep, I said a whole year. Long story short...mom and dad differ in the parenting style department and I'm a mix of both. Poor kid didn't know how to deal with getting his way with dad and not getting his way with me. He was also super sucky about his damn stinky nasty blanket and once I told them to stop bringing it he eased off the meltdowns.Mom treats him like an adult and dad treats him like a baby....so frustrating sometimes but now that he's 2 and a half he knows whats expected of him when he's with me. He's so cute and I love him like he's my own son...Him and my son are only 4 days apart so they're best buddies. They just melt my heart

Mom doesn't sound very helpful, and if you have other famillies to fill the spot cut em loose. No one needs that kind of aggravation every day. At least for me the parents were more than helpful in trying to help him ease of the tears

Good luck!!!!

[Momof4]

I had one who SCREAMED for 7 months, one for 4 months, but the 4 month screamer had a milk allergy so once his parents believed they should try lactose free products he got happy, jeeeesh! The 7 month screamer is still here too and eventually I got her under control. Those are the two worst scenarios I've had. If they could all come in happy this job would be too easy, now wouldn't it?

If the parents are making suggestions and listening to your suggestions and making sure the baby's schedule is the same at home and daycare so she can adjust into routines then I say keep trying. If the Mom isn't trying to help you at all, well, good luck! You will know when you have reached your limit.

[mom-in-alberta]

Yikes. It's tough to be in that spot when you just KNOW that you can fill it with another (hopefully less woeful) child.
It would come down to the parents, for me. Doesn't sound like mom and dad are helping. So it's still going to be a long road. In 5 weeks, I think you should have seen SOMETHING improve. Maybe not perfectly all around, but at least a little bit here and there.

[Judy Trickett]

Same child from the conflicting beliefs thread...

Week 5, and she's still crying ALL day, every day. Time to let her go?

Yes, IMO, if a child is not making improvements by week two you need to start reassessing. And, if by week four the child isn't mostly transitioned with significant improvement from week one then they need to be terminated.

We also have a responsibility to the group of children in our care. And if the group has to listen to a screaming child for more than a month then we are remiss in our obligation to them. If I was a parent and knew that every day for five weeks my child had to spend 9 or 10 hours in a stressful environment listening to another child scream I would not be impressed.

It also is not fair to the provider to listen to that. There are studies out there that show that listening to a child scream non-stop has a physical impact on the brain.

Let her go - TODAY.