Potential Family asks Current Family to fill out referral questionnaire????

[Lou]

I'm interested to know if you're going to call back the psycho mom and tell her that she went a little too far?? I bet tthat will be a peachy conversation! HA! Some people...

[Cadillac]

SOOOOOOOO. You called that lady and told her how out of line that was right?
And then you told her that you would be unable to accept her into care right?

I'm flabbergasted

[Mamma_Mia]

For example if a child not 'wanting' to go to daycare is being seen as a RED FLAG that the provider is not up to par - well that is out of context ... how old is the child, what is their temperament, what is their attachment to their own parents and so forth?

My PT-dcg in the last 2 days has been crying & freaking out at drop-off! Once mom leaves she stops! Today dad dropped her off and he stayed....and she cried. I had to tell him that the longer you stay the worse she will get. So he left.....I held her in my lap trying to calm her down, after 5min I had enough. I put her down and told her to STOP CRYING.....you wont believe what happened. Not only did she stop crying BUT she smiled and said "im all better now"! WTF Kid....you're parents think I'm locking you in a closet by your freak out meanwhile you're just playing them! From that moment on she's been all smiles.

So yeah...that doesn't always mean something is wrong!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh I hear ya - I have two siblings who can so drama it up it the morning for mama - and than turn it off on a dime when the door closes and they get the LOOK for me because they are 4 and 6 now and there is NO EXCUSE for that behavior anymore and they know it - I have giving up with the clients trying to help with tips for better behavior because she just does what is easiest in the moment and cannot seem to grasp that if you put in the effort for a few weeks it would be easier in the long run ???

[Momof4]

As Judy would say NEXT...

I seriously think this parent has major trust issues and will never be able to hand over responsability. Go with your gut instinct. Thank God your other parents forwarded you the e-mail?

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!

[mom-in-alberta]

Definitely weird that she seems to be all concerned about these things, but is not even interviewing anyone else. So, did you let her know it was out of line?
I just think it was weird..... and I agree that if these are the criteria, she is looking at the WRONG things. There is none of the things I would be asking. And she seems overly concerned about sick days, etc?? That would be a red-flag for me, because truthfully there WILL be times that I need to close. This will be the mom that makes it a gigantic issue!

[playfelt]

One of the advantages of a daycare centre is that it doesn't close if someone on staff is sick whereas in home care it is just us so there are times we have to close. Although since I had to look after my own kids anyways when I was sick it was easier to have everyone come and have a quiet day of tv because it kept my kids entertained and parents appreciated the no interruption. Generally I got the illness from someone in daycare so the tv day served them right. When it was my own kids sick the day went the same - the daycare sat in front of the tv and I cared for the sickies in the background.

A lot of the questions on the lady's list do come from online lists of what to ask in a childcare interview so not as strange as it might seem but if a parent comes for an interview and starts with the list I let them know the kinds of things that do matter more and why.

[michellesmunchkins]

I have never had to close due to illness in well over 2 years and told her that in our interview, but apparently she needed to hear it from someone else too...the way she goes about things rubs me the wrong way. My gut instinct tells me everything would be an issue for her and everything would be the fault of the daycare, the daycare provider and the other children in care. To me, its not worth it!

I haven't spoken to her yet, I was actually hoping she saw this post and read through what everyone else was saying as well. I'm sure she 'creeps' all aspects of my life to ensure I told her the truth in the interview. If she does contact me again in regards to still having her child join my daycare I will be honest and tell her exactly why I wouldn't take her family into care. Maybe that will help her with the next provider, or maybe the next provider would be willing to coddle and deal with her...I think its only fair to her to be honest.

[playfelt]

And there is a chance that once you bring some things such as this to her attention saying sorry that is not the right way to go about looking for daycare and be sure to do the part mentioned about it would always be someone else's fault for every little thing that she will be aghast and apologize profusely and turn out to be an easy going person that just needs a bit of handholding not a lot. Yes I know she has her child's best interests at heart and playing mother bear in terms of trying to do only the best by her child but she needs to realize that what she did made things worse for her child.