Help w Email Wording, Please!

[Sandbox Sally]

Hi all!

I have a vacancy since I let Screamy go, so I interviewed this week. All interviews have been concluded since Tuesday, and I have two families waiting on my decision. Both families have told me that they want me to care for their little ones.

In addition to these two families, I have a third. I have the potential to have a 19 mo here, who walks, talks, dresses herself, is just overall adorable, and her parents are SO personable and laid back. I really want the older one, as the other two are 11 and 12 mo. I keep thinking of how much easier my spring and summer will be at the playground with three walkers, and only one infant!!

My problem? Older dck's mom hasn't gotten back to me yet. She emailed me and told me that she was very comfortable and sure that dck would be super happy with me, but my day home was the first she visited, and she'd let me know by Friday what she decides. In the meantime, I have two families who are chomping at the bit waiting to hear whether they got the spot.

I'd like to email older dck mom to let her know that I am about to give away the spot, but that I'd rather give it to her. How do I word this without sounding pushy or rude?

I REALLY want this little one!

[Bookworm]

Is she supposed to let you know by today or by next Friday?

If it is next Friday, then send her an email saying, that although you know she is going to have a decision for you by Friday, if she could let you know any sooner, you would appreciate it as you have other families waiting for the vacancy, but you would prefer to give her first choice as you feel her little one is the best fit for your daycare.
I don't know how else to word it. If you are worried about your other parents, maybe send them an email saying you've had a lot of interest in the vacancy, and need a bit more time to come to a decision, but will let them know either way as soon as possible.

Hope everything works out for you!

[playfelt]

Guess it depends on if it is this Friday as in today or next Friday.

If today then you really can't do anything till at least tomorrow. At that point you can send her a reminder that you were holding the space until Friday for her to make a decision but that if she isn't interested you need to move on and continue to interview. Please let me know where you are in the interviewing process. Do you have any additional questions about my daycare program?

That should at least get some kind of a response even if it is sorry we haven't made up our minds or it gets a well we think we will go with the lady that lives closer to us - as in she never intended to bother getting back to you if they went with someone else.

This is always the russian roulette game where we hold out for just the right child and risk losing them all or we take the first one that comes along and kick ourselves for not waiting for the right child to come along. Always a guessing game.

Summer tends to be a flexible time with kids on vacation and easier weeks sometimes so another thing to consider is what will the ages be for September and how does the older child fit in. Other dangers to think about is when is mom planning a second pregnancy as in will child be there and for how long, will you have several leaving for school all the same time and would it be better to spread out the ages a bit more realizing a year old now is 18 months by fall.

[Sandbox Sally]

It's today Friday. She told me that she'd tell me by today, and one of the other moms (my very close 2nd choice) needs to start transitioning next week, so she needs to have her daycare secured by today.
I sent a short email telling 1st choice that I didn't wish to pressure her, but that the other family waiting need for me to give them an answer by today, and that I thought I'd be fair and give her first refusal.

Now, I will wait an hour or two before moving on to the other family, I guess!

Playfelt, you bring up a very good point re 2nd pregnancy possibility! Thanks for that. It's something I hadn't even considered.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya - this is the part of the job that is tricky!

For the families who are interested perhaps a 'stalling' email of thank you so much for your patience during the interview process I have just one final interview to wrap up and will be making my decision by X date'.

Than with the other family who has not gotten back but is YOUR first choice I would just let the family know that 'Good afternoon - just wanted to let you know that I have concluded the interview process for the current space I really excited that your daughter would be an ideal match to the program based on her age and learning style. I really empathize that you might not yet be done interviewing other providers however I have two families who are willing to commit to the space NOW and therefore if you are feeling that we might be the best match so far I need a commitment by X date (day before you gave the other two families) otherwise in the fairness to the others who are ready to make the commitment now I will have to choose between the two of them so that the other family can move on finding an alternative since I cannot take on both children at this point."

[Cocoon]

I really don't get this. If she thinks that her child will be happy in your care and she feels good about it why does she want to see other day homes? Something is wrong here.

I had one family said the exact thing. She said she is sure that her daughter will have fun here with me and she and her husband felt so comfortable with me and liked me very much. BUT there is another day home she wanted to see. I said sure. I encourage families to see other day homes too so that they can compare. BUT there is a chance that another family might take the spot as I'm still interviewing until I fill the spot. The very next day I had another family who were very interested in the spot and after leaving my house withing less then half an hour she emailed me saying they would like to take the spot and when I would like to receive the deposit and sign the contract. I liked the family and offer the spot. The first family got back to me after they see other day home but I told them the spot is taken. They tried to make me feel bad but I told them that I'm still interviewing and won't stop until I sign the contract. And in fact I told them(well emailed) that the family who signed the contract took the spot on the spot I felt bad but it's not my fault.

If it's this Friday I will wait a bit longer and by the afternoon I would email second family offering the spot.

Good luck with whatever you decide. One more thing to consider, the child is already 19 months old and family might want another child soon. That is another thing to consider. I prefer young children as they can learn my way of doing things and I know I have at least a year with them until their mother have her second child.

Hope it helps.

Cocoon

[playfelt]

What reason did the parent give for needing to move to a new caregiver as in her child would have been with someone for the past 6 months right? While it is nice getting someone with more self help skills they sometimes come with other baggage you don't want.

[Sandbox Sally]

Cocoon, I think this is exactly what I am going to do. Thanks.

Playfelt, they haven't had her in care before. They moved here while mom was pregnant, and she just recently decided to go to work.

[michellesmunchkins]

I'm the opposite with the ages. I would prefer they come to me young (11-12 months). They learn my rules and what works and doesn't work with me. Once they hit almost 2 I find it such a struggle to get them to 'unlearn' that whining works at home but not here, or that their parents will answer them when they grunt and I won't unless they use words. I like to train them young lol

I personally, would give her the rest of today to get back to you if your 100% sure that this is the child who would fit best. I think we've all been through this where we wait for who we think is perfect and lose out on the 2nd choice...or we cave and take the second choice an hour before our first choice messages us back...you just never know in this job.

[Dayhome Mamma]

Ya - this is the part of the job that is tricky!

For the families who are interested perhaps a 'stalling' email of thank you so much for your patience during the interview process I have just one final interview to wrap up and will be making my decision by X date'.

Than with the other family who has not gotten back but is YOUR first choice I would just let the family know that 'Good afternoon - just wanted to let you know that I have concluded the interview process for the current space I really excited that your daughter would be an ideal match to the program based on her age and learning style. I really empathize that you might not yet be done interviewing other providers however I have two families who are willing to commit to the space NOW and therefore if you are feeling that we might be the best match so far I need a commitment by X date (day before you gave the other two families) otherwise in the fairness to the others who are ready to make the commitment now I will have to choose between the two of them so that the other family can move on finding an alternative since I cannot take on both children at this point."

I was going to suggest a "stalling email" as well. If they really want the spot, the interested families will wait. You can tell them that they can expect to hear from you by Saturday morning at the latest. I really liked Inspired by Reggios wording; "thank you so much for your patience during the interview process I have just one final interview to wrap up and will be making my decision by X date'."
I don't know if I'd be asking for an earlier answer from the lady you want. I feel like it would somehow alter an aspect of the dynamics of her needing you vs you needing her. And she did say she would let you know by Friday. Lots of times people just need to see that one more space to reassure themselves that yes, you are the one. And then they will be even more greatfull. I wouldn't ask her for an earlier answer. But that's just me.