S/O: Do you "cut off"?

[mom-in-alberta]

I have been meaning to post this for some time, and another thread got me thinking about it....

At meal/snack times, do you allow all children to eat as much as they want? Or do you say no, based on time or how much food they've already had?

I saw Reggio addressing this issue on that aforementioned thread. But I ask because of my p/t boy, who does not seem to fill up! The other day at lunch he had 3 heaping plates of scrambled eggs, toast and ham. Plus a whole apple, sliced up. And he was still asking for more. He's barely 2 and a half! And this is just about every meal time. He consistenty eats about 3 times more than all the other kids.

Now, I should state that he is a BIG guy. Not "fat", but sturdy. He's already well into size 3 clothing, and will probably be in 4's if he keeps going, before his 3rd birthday. He is a GREAT eater, and eats just about anything put in front of him. I know for a fact mom and dad don't feed him "crap". Dad is average size/height, and mom is very tall and quite thin.

But I would think that letting him eat and eat and eat and eat.... is going to cause problems in the long run? What if he stops growing up and starts to just grow out? He also thinks that if ANYONE else is eating, he must eat, too. I don't often eat at the same time as the kids, and even if we have just had snack (for them) if I sit down with my coffee and banana, he's right there asking for a "bite". (Maybe that just annoys me, lol) I just remind him that he had his food, and now it's my turn.

What do you think? Just feed him until he says done? Or feed a reasonable portion, based on my own judgement?

[dodge__driver11]

My son is the same way. After 2 servings and 2 glaases of milk/water I say no more. otherwise I'd always be shopping :S

[Crayola kiddies]

I would offer him seconds/thirds/fourths of veges but only one portion ( maybe two smaller portions) of the carb part of the meal ... Pasta rice breads crackers potatoes ect....and I would give him larger portions of the vege on the first plate.

[Cocoon]

This is funny mom-in-alberta, as I was thinking of posting this too but then changed my mind. I have a 15 month old that would eat non stop! Until recently, I was prepairing his food here but then his mom asked if she could bring his food from home as she gives him all organic. I don't always buy organic stuff and never told parents that I will. I was fine with it and she started bringing his food. The amount he eats unbeliveable! He is only 15months old! He is eating adult size portions.

I have another dck who is also a very! good eater, no less then above mentioned kid. I do give him as much as he eats but I have to admit sometimes I stop, not because I think It will cost me it's because I think he will explode! I would never stop giving food it's because it's going to cost me more. I think of them as my kids.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya for me I let them eat as much as they want - within reason.... i do not cook processed foods high in fat or sodium or fillers and i serve minimum high carb foods only in moderation anyway.

So I serve a balance first serving and if they are asking for more of the carb without having eaten the protein/fruit/vege portion on their plate they do not get seconds of anything until the plate is empty ... if they are truly hungry IMO they should willingly eat what is on their plate ... if their plate is empty I serve more of everything until what I prepared is gone ... of they are not willing to do that they are not truly hungry but just wanting extra of what they like.

So yesterday I served Taco salad and my crew of 4 ate two heads of lettuce, pound ground turkey with seasonings , 2 cups shred cheese, a pepper, a onion, pint cherry tomatoes and 1/4 bag Tostitos and salsa dressing ...I had intended to be able to prep once eat twice with that but they ate the entire salad so no leftovers for my lunch let alone for dinner salads for family...other days that same salad would have had leftovers but we spent the morning at the park - they worked up an appetite!

Many of my crew have appetites larger than my spouse who is 6'8" tall 250 pound retired army workout king ... none of my crew are over weight though ... we are just very active and burn through those calories.

Life is about common sense and balance ... if my crew were gaining weight and becoming obese I would certainly back serving more lower calorie options ... however TWO of my biggest eaters are not even at the midrange weights let alone top...been actually hoping one of them who is well over 40 inches would get to the 40 pound mark to allow him the option of the highback booster some days ... but alas sitting at 35 pounds forever!!

There is a difference too in allowing a child to eat 4 eggs and eating 4 bagels for example ... Eggs only have 70 calories each and 15 gram protein while a bagel is 300 cal and 54 carbs ... the eggs will take more calaries to digest than they are while the bagel turns to sugar in the system and the extra gets stored as fat!

[Spixie33]

This is a great question.
I have a 1 year old who is eating everything and anything and eating me out of house and home - lol I thought she would be the tiniest eater but she never seems to get full so I am often filling her bowl/plate at least 2-4 times a meal...same with snacks. She is never just done the first round.

As for my other kids - it depends on what we are having. Things like Spaghetti or lasagna will likely go 2 servings min for each kid because they just love it so much and keep asking for more. Sometimes I literally have to show them the pot/serving dish is totally cleared out and say ;sorry there isn't any more.' There are days where it feels like none of them are getting food at home. lol

I also wonder if I should be allowing them that many servings. I know another provider in my area gives one serving and then tells them that is all and they have to wait for snack. I am not sure I could do that and let a child cry or become upset or say they are hungry and I just say no.

I always give them more or offer another fruit or something if things get too tough. I estimated my meals for taxes at $7 a day but I am really thinking I am waaaaaay above that and the cost of food just keeps going up.

[sunnydays]

I have some kids like this too. I always give them more, but again, within reason. If it is snacktime, I do cut them off at a certain point because it is meant to be a snack to tide them over, not an entire meal...but even then, I do give them more than oe serving. As some others have said, I will say no to more bread or crackers etc, but not usually to more soup or more broccoli etc (most of my group love broccoli!). If I am serving a bread type item, I serve the other parts of the meal first and they earn their bread by eating the other parts (this even works well for my picky almost 4 year old), but I do have a problem with one of my little ones...he's 14 months and some days he doesn't even want to touch anything I serve and sits their crying like I am hurting him by not serving something more appetizing. He holds out and I end up giving him bread and milk because I don't want him to go to bed with an empty stomach...but then it is a vicious cycle...I'm not sure what to do with this one!

[Inspired by Reggio]

.... He holds out and I end up giving him bread and milk because I don't want him to go to bed with an empty stomach...but then it is a vicious cycle...I'm not sure what to do with this one!

IMO it will not hurt him to go without 'food' for a meal ... as long as he is hydrated the human being can go DAYS without food just think of anytime you've had a really bad tummy flu

I do not cave with children in my care ... I provide a wide variety of options at regular intervals their job is to choose if and how much they consumer .... seriously do you think in Ethiopia a 14 month old takes one look at the ROTTEN RICE they are being served because that is the only option they have and says 'nope I am holding out for a nice soft piece of bread and a glass of milk' :roll:

North American children are PICKY because we ALLOW them the option to be PICKY .... there is research that shows that SUGAR aka what bread / pasta / rice / potato breaks down into in the body in much larger concentrations than 'fruit/veggie' does actually reacts in the brain the same as COCAINE ... it can be addictive for sure and the more we have in our diet the more we WANT in our diet to fill that' void ... however what we WANT is not always what is BEST for us and adults it is our job to help children learn the difference between a NEED and a WANT.... we NEED a balanced diet of protein, fruits, veggies and so forth and high carbs foods in moderation ... in reality we do not even NEED rice, pasta, breads, sugary foods in our diet they are FILLER created to make us feel full in times of 'famine' because they are CHEAP SHELF STABLE ITEMS - nutritionally they offer very little that cannot be gotten in fruits, veggies, legumes or other 'better choices' specially when you take into account their 'calories per serving' in comparison and the fact that we now have access to fruits / veggies and other better choices YEAR ROUND verses back centuries ago when if you did not hunt or gather it - you went hungry for days

[sunnydays]

Thanks Reggio! I completely agree with everything you have said! With my own kids I have followed this...you don't want it, too bad, you get nothing else. I think I just find it harder with the daycare kids...especially this little one because he is part-time and I know his parents give in and give him bread of whatever, so then he doesn't understand why I'm not doing it. But, your post has renewed my dedication to not giving in...I think I will be tougher from now on. I know if he were older, I would not give in, but it is harder with a young one who doesn't understand. All the other kids eat well or at least eat parts of the meal, but this one just sits there and cries. I tried to teach him how to spoon feed himself (the other two who are close to his age do it), but he got mad and batted my hands away. He is used to it being done for him. Anyway, I think I've hijacked this thread...so I'll stop venting. No more caving!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Kangaroomama - do you do a newsletter or other 'information sharing' with your clients? I do a monthly newsletter with either a 'children's corner' or a 'parent corner' in it where I stick links to articles online about various parenting challenges ... so my passive aggressive way of dealing with your 14 month old picky eating would be to do a 'how to raise a healthy eater' article and post links that back up your practice of NOT CATERING to picky eaters if they would like more info on where you got your references in sharing your opinion