Agreed! Family dynamics change so drastically in today's society. I have a friend who does daycare and this is what happened to her: One day parents love grandparents and its ok for them to pick up, the next week their has been a nasty fight and parents no longer wish for them to see the child, yet they show up at daycare to pick him/her up for a visit. Parents didn't inform provider that grandparents were no longer allowed to pick up and their info was all listed on the forms as ok to pick up. Grandparents had picked up many times before and it was never an issue. Provider released child to grandma only to have parents freak out an hour later as grandma was no longer allowed to see the child...ugh...the provider was totally stuck as it had all been ok the week before...
I really only like to release them to mom/dad. I too would do what Reggio does and take the child to the parents myself to save any issues.