I just trained my son and I used a sticker chart .... Every time he went in the potty/toilet he got a sticker and if he went in his pants he got an x .....I spent the week prior prepping him ... Telling him that diapers were going to be only for nap time and night time. I used the thick waffleweave training pants so if he did pee them they would soak up most of the mess. He hated being wet ..... The first day he went in the toilet once and peed his pants three times the next day he only peed his pants once and since then he has only had a few accidents .... You need to find the child's "currency" ...stickers, a smartie, gummy bear, a cracker, a chance to play with a special toy what ever makes them really happy and it has to be everytime not after three times or at the end of the week .... Sometimes you just have to resort to bribery cause some are more defiant then others. But I agree I wouldn't back off cause in my opinion they got ya then and the next time you start she'll do the same thing figuring you'll back off again .... Being potty trained is not an option .... I've heard of some care givers making the parents take a week off and keep their child home and train them if the child is not trained by 3rd birthday. I have one the is almost three and parents haven't started yet and changing that diaper is gross.