Ya - I am another one that 'pushing' toilet training with a child WILL back fire everytime!

There are only so many things in their life children actually get 'control' over ... what goes into their bodies and what comes out of their bodies being the two biggest ... and ironically they are the ones that cause parents the MOST issues because when children feel CONTROLLED in those areas they PUSH back to exert control and battles begin because kids KNOW we cannot truly make them eat or make them poop and so forth!

IMO once a child is about 18 months - our job is to role model what goes on in the bathroom on a regular basis so they can see how it is done and to offer and encourage them to practice as THEY show interest and are self motivated - children want to be 'like their parents' or 'like siblings' so if they see THEM going they will want to emulate this naturally .... and than with that regular role modeling and access to a potty or toilet it is the child's job to choose WHEN to master it .... in my program it is usually at about 18 months they start wanting to 'look in' on the other kids to see what is going in the bathroom so this is when I 'introduce' the potty to them - offer 'would you like to sit on it' and than as they start willing sit on it I change it from would you like to to 'its time to try the potty' before routine times to try to get more success ... .and when the child is having success on going on potty, is staying dry for 2 hours at a time, has the communication skills to let me know they need the potty THEN we make the transition to underwear with a containment unit over it .... this occurs at different times depending on the child!

I have had kids trained at 22 months completely in underwear except for nap time and others who took right until the last week of August heading off to JK at 4 years of age to finally be able to go two weeks with an accident and be able to be considered 'trained' and have no containment unit over their underwear! On average they are trained by 3 though and with minimal accidents or stress because with no 'pressure' from me or parents - what I call self trained with some adult support systems in place.

Honestly - been in this field for 20 years and can count the number of kids I have seen head off to school not fully trained on one hand and even if they DO go to school in a pull up the first week the PEER PRESSURE from the others of 'pooping' at school has them trained within a week or two anyway ... so why STRESS AND FIGHT to get this done cleaning up 100's of accident pants and being angry and so forth cause the plan fact is that more you push the more they 'rebel' .... step back take a deep breath cause honestly unless there is a true 'developmental delay' preventing training in the first place when we do not PUSH them to do it but rather just let them find their motivation they do get motivated on their own if not before school the minute they 'arrive' at it!