Terminating for the first time.......sad and also a bit relieved. Part 2.......

[Inspired by Reggio]

.... Once the action stops she will leave her room and IGNORE the fact that this behavior has happened and instead "praise her deeply for skills she possesses and previous good deeds"(these were her exact words)....

Um sorry - been in the field for eons now and taken just about ever varied 'behaviour and guidance' genre workshop and yes many behaviour management experts do employ 'positive reinforcement' aka catch them when they do GOOD for sure .... but she is leaving out the part about enforcing clear expectations for behaviour and natural consequences for poor behaviour and choices .... if this child is behaviour rude, hurtful, destructive or property she has to be taught there are consequences for that - you do not just get to blow your top and everyone else pays for it!

Also YES they will tell you that if you NEED to - than walk away and give yourself some distance ... this is to be employed if you are on the verge of 'loosing it' and the strategy is to prevent yourself from HARMING your child not just as the 'go to strategy' everytime they act up you just leave and lock the door and leave them there demolishing your house - you are suppose to attempt to put strategies in place to avoid getting to that stage with the child through clear expectations and consequences and if the STILL get to that point you have to walk away - when you are calm you 'resolve' the issue you do not IGNORE IT and hope it will go away

And yes as parents of children we need to 'pick our battles' in regards to ignoring certain things because the more 'attention' you give them the more power it gives the kids - however VIOLENCE is not one of those things! Things like swearing in toddlers the more you 'draw attention' to it the more they swear so just 'ignore' it or do minimal 'if you are going to use that word go to your room' so they are not getting 'attention for it' and the stage passes - however if a child were 'biting' you would not IGNORE it and hope it went away or destroying the siblings things out of anger - you do not IGNORE THAT.

....mom says she is raising her daughter to "stand up for herself" and "be assertive and to be a strong and independent woman". ....

Nope - beg to differ - she is teaching her child to LIE rather than accept responsibility for her poor choices, she is teaching her child to be rude and disrespectful to others just cause she 'feels like it' and she is teaching her that she can behave like a little asshat and that there are no consequences for her behaviour because mom keeps 'excusing' her inappropriate behaviour and not making the world come tumbling down around her for that behaviour!

You can teach a child to be outspoken and stand up for themselves without being RUDE

You can teach a child to be assertive without being AGGRESSIVE

And you can respect a child's emotions and need to express them without allowing them to 'devolve into a destructive danger to others' .... seriously this women is in for a world of hurt as this poor child grows up and has to 'manage' in social situations where people are not going to allow her to behave like this, speak to them like that without seriously negative consequences ... like in SCHOOL where some of those behaviours will get her suspended!

Have an interview lined up in the next little while, hoping it is a good match for the family and myself!

Sending you filler up vibes with a supportive and responsive client who wants to raise a truly 'well balanced and thriving' human being!