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  1. #1
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    Angry Locking the door when they're late

    I'm sure most of you are familiar with my half-day kid. I'm at my wits end. After giving them the letter that you all helped me write, saying that he is expected no later than 12:30 on his half days. His first day, he brought his son at 12:30 the next time and then again today, didn't show up until 1:05. Not only was my son in his high chair for 35 minutes waiting to be fed (I kept giving him little peices so he wouldn't cry the whole time) but then he had to wait for the boy to finish his lunch. I'm fed up! It's not even an issue of him being on time anymore and interrupting our schedule, it's about feeling totally disrespetedl. It's like he doesn't even notice - he never apologizes when he comes late, so he's obviously not concerned. I'm really frustrated that he's not taking me seriously, and they even paid a day late and never mentioned it or apologized until I mentioned it at pick up yesterday.

    So far, I've explained our schedule and why dropping him off at 12:30 is so important. I've mentioned he won't be able to eat lunch if he comes later, and I've mentioned that not only is it bad for Asher, but it's bad for Caelan and myself. Still, he's not taking it seriously.

    So, what DO YOU DO? What is your experience with this? I'm thinking about implementing a "lock the door" policy. If you're 20 minutes late, without letting me know in advance, the door will be locked and you will still have to pay for the whole day. I was thinking about going 30 minutes, but he's always 30 minutes, never more. If he let me know at like - noon that he was going to be a little late, then I could plan accordingly - feed my son lunch, have the boy's lunch ready to eat when he arrives - that would be ok. Well, it would be better. WHAT DO YOU THINK? If I made them sign a form agreeing that if they show up 20 minutes late, the door will be locked and they will have to go home. It's not like they live super far. They're a three minute walk from my house.

    I just feel totally disrespected and taken advantage of. Like they don't take me seriously and don't care about the way I run my daycare.

    HELP

  2. #2
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    Tell them "goodbye" but I can understand it's not always that easy. Start advertising I would say.

  3. #3
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    I'm not sure I want to cut ties. I've worked REALLY hard with this little boy and it's not his fault his dads a tool. He's just not a smart guy. I don't think he gets it at all. I just dont' know what to do. I don't have enough clients to say goodbye, although I've thought about it a lot. My son and him really get along well and I would hate for them to not be friends anymore. I just wish I could find a way to get him to understand. Because once I do have a full daycare, we will be eating at 12:30 and if his son isn't here, he's not eating. And that's not fair to him. Like I said, it's not his fault that his dad is a tool lol

  4. #4
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    LOL, if it were me, I would lock the door at 12:35... I bet he won't be late again

    Good luck, that is a real crappy situation!!

  5. #5
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    Well the next time he comes late I would say to dad " I hope he's eaten cause lunch is over". Or I think I mentioned this in another thread but if he's not there with in 15 mins of scheduled drop off time then go out .... That'll give them the message .... I would feed your son at the regular time as it's not fair to him to make him wait then leave.......... and once you have inconvenienced the parents they will get it .... But until it makes a difference to them hence dads late for work they won't get it!

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  7. #6
    Euphoric !
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    So you've written emails and the letter... have you talked directly to the dad? Honestly, I would get a little snippy with him at this point. I would say (to his face) that you are feeling quite upset about the fact that you have asked numerous times for them to be there at 12:30 at the latest. And then I would let them know that moving forward, should they not arrive by 12:40 (or whatever time you want to give as a deadline) you will not be able to provide care that day.
    Agreed that as soon as it's not convenient for them; the behaviour will change!

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  9. #7
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    I agree, it's very simple, don't feed the child. Feed your own child at the time you serve lunch and if they arrive 1/2 an hour later you say 'oh I hope he ate lunch because we finished already as you have been advised.' This Dad thinks he's King of the World and you are his Servant!

    Keep interviewing and advertising and replace this family as fast as possible. They do not respect you and will never be good daycare clients. I'm sorry, but it's that simple. We all deserve to have great clients who follow our rules. Do you think this guy would treat his plumber or doctor or lawyer or accountant the way he treats you? Because those are all service workers just like us.

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  11. #8
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    Why are you punishing your own son for this father's lack of ability to tell time and get organized. If you gave him your schedule you also wrote on there I assume what time lunch was served. Go ahead at the appointed hour and feed your son. Then when he arrives tell him that lunch is over and if his son hasn't eaten he will have to take him home and feed him before bringing him back. I like the idea of deciding to go for a walk after feeding your son and just not being home when he comes. Maybe the shock will help him get it. I do not answer the door between 1 and 3 pm as that is naptime. I know a lady that built a box to fit over her doorbell which she used to close during naptime so no one could ring the bell.

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  13. #9
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    I would leave the house as well since you don't have any other daycare kids. If they are late and you haven't received a phone call then I would assume I have the day off and go out for lunch or a drive, or shopping or something. Why should you sit around waiting for them. If he is such a tool you do need to say something to him directly.

  14. #10
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    I empathize with not being able to budget terminating - or to feel you've invested in the child and so forth ... having a clients care myself whose adults I could do without!

    If you do not want to terminate him over it rather than locking the door and expecting to still get paid for the day (cause I have a feeling THAT will not go over well) instead I would remind them that the program lunch is served from 12:30 - and since you've already explained that you can no longer implement 'special' for this family cause it does not work for the group - you serve your meals on time as scheduled - when/ if the dad shows up at 1:05 and the kid is not fed than you send dad HOME to feed him and than return to program - you are not a RESTAURANT you do not get to show up and place an order whenever last call is 12:30 and if you 'miss it' oh well ... I do not serve food outside of the 'groups meal time' unless you are under a year old and on a infant feeding schedule and even than I work ASAP to get the scheduled synced with the group!

    I have done that with clients who show up and they 'forgot' their diapers or outside clothes and so forth - the child cannot stay unless they have EVERYTHING they need for the program ... only happens once where their routine is affected by 'forgetting' before they get their act together and make sure to run the 'list' before leaving the house!
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

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