When do you say enough is enough

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ummm - ya that is a tough one - not sure I would want to make that investment to FIX this kid for a few months of income since she is predetermined to be leaving in September to full day kindergarten!

However the strategy needs to STOP working for her and the consquence for doing so needs to be enough to motivate her to STOP!

In the program - you want to SCREAM you can go in a room and lie down on a bed and be by yourself so that no one else is affected by it and than while she is GONE you do something so totally AWESOME with your other group that she misses out on!

If she is 'destructive' to things while having a tantrum - I would terminate regardless cause she is not worth the risk ... however if she will lie down on a bed and just 'scream' until she realizes that 'hey I lost my audience' 'hey no one cares I am doing this it is not working' and finally the 'hey I can hear the other kids having FUN without me - I might as well STOP and go join in'...and when she DID come out whatever fun activity that enticed her out would be OVER she would have missed it that time with the message 'oh hon sorry but you missed this today NEXT TIME you need to choose to join into the program right away instead of being angry in your bed" ... and next morning I would plan something engaging out to have as she arrives to see if it 'entices' her in to program without the 'behaviour' and than you can do the positive reinforcement of 'wow it was so nice to have you join us this morning and not miss out on any of the fun' .... that has worked in the past with children in my care who throw a fit upon arrival - although I have never had one that age who goes on THAT long - it is usually just the first 15 minutes or so until they realize it is not 'working' to get them anything here!

And IMO AT HOME if she has behaved like this during the day her world as she knows it needs to fall in around her - if it was my child who had be terminated from 1 day homes due to behaviour she would have been grounded out the wazhoo at home .... only her necessities of life would be met - no 'toys', no TV or entertainment like DVD or video games, no computer and so forth, no TREATS and so forth ... she can help do chores around the house at the end of day to 'earn' money to buy back her 'extras' and in the meantime she can play with dust bunnies in her room to 'entertain' herself with because if the parent cannot WORK because this child's behaviour is so bad she needs to learn there is no MONEY do to extras with that kid, she needs the natural consequence that you behave because it is the RIGHT thing to do.

And if that did not work - my family would be going for counseling with a professional because NO CHILD should have that much power in a home to put a parents livelihood at risk at FOUR because they do not want to go to 'daycare' and are throwing a fit as a result!