Naptime Crying....tough love?

[Mamma_Mia]

Oh she needs a FIRM talking too and she'd be sitting on the stairs all day with NO toys. At 4 that is just not allowed! My dcg at 3yrs tried that twice and after not doing a.single.thing all day she now knows better

Good Luck

[Momof4]

TOUGH LOVE FOR SURE! A 4 year old should NOT behave that way ever. I would definitely not tolerate it. This is why I love babies to start with me before they turn 1, because they are trained to be well behaved before they are 1 1/2. I am strict but it's for their own good. They learn routines and it's very healthy for their little bodies to have consistent mealtimes, playtimes, naptimes and they know how the day transitions 5 days/week.

Part-time children are more challenging, but if you are firm and consistent every day they are with you and don't back down or ever give into their nonsense and let them know what is expected from them it does work.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh wow - I cannot believe you are still having to deal with this!

My first thought is she should have to EARN the toy in the first place verses getting it for 30 minutes and than being expected to rest ... A) many studies suggest that video games stimulate the mind of most people and actually 'impede' a restful state of mind so having the game first is counter productive to promoting sleep in someone who is struggling to 'rest' and B) she is likely spending that time focused on I am going to 'loose this' in x minutes anyway which is likely why she is starting to 'misbehave' anyway cause what does she have to loose she is going to get the thing taken away anyway?

Here the expectation is you rest quietly FIRST and if you do a good job you can earn a special quiet time activity ... if you do not REST quietly than you not only stay on your bed until the last person is up but you do not get to do anything 'special' for the rest of the day - you REST in a chair with books or your little imagination to keep you company and I make dang sure to plan something AWESOME ROCK YOUR WORLD FUN for the rest of the group!

I would also be talking to the parents with a WRITTEN WARNING and making it clear that rude disruptive behaviour at quiet time will NOT be tolerated in the program and while you do not care if she SLEEPS she MUST be quiet and respect the needs of both the children and yourself for quiet time and if this behaviour cannot be remedied within X days than your contract will have to be terminated ... and I would start advertizing for her space just in case the parents do not take the wake up call and put down the arm of the law at home with some consequences for her poor choices in CARE because there is only so much you can do within program with behaviour like this .... throwing a tantrum obviously is working SOMEWHERE for the child at this age or they would have learned long ago to behave!

[gcj]

yeah, I agree that she should have to earn the toy...makes sense. The thing is it's never enough....there's always another excuse to scream.
After 30 minutes, she'd worn herself out and slept for an hour and a half, but we had a MAJOR talk after, and she had to do "velcro" with me all afternoon until pickup. Meaning, she had to stay with me...sitting alone, had snack separately, had to hold my hand on our bus pickup run and even during outside playtime, she waited on the stairs until dad showed up.
After a week away, I totally anticipated this, but now is to time to come down HARD and lay down the law. The parents are very supportive and take it very seriously. As much as I can't take it anymore, I'm not at termination yet in my mind. I've had her for over 3 years, and have her little brother, too, and they are great people.....
Hopefully we'll work it though....

[gcj]

momof4 I've had her full-time since 10 months old. It's popped up out of the blue.

[Inspired by Reggio]

.... As much as I can't take it anymore, I'm not at termination yet in my mind. I've had her for over 3 years, and have her little brother, too, and they are great people....

I empathize - I have a family like this in care whose been here for over 4 years and will be done in September anyway ... their eldest is a challenge some days to say the least but 4 out of 5 days are fairly good days so I try to focus on those and just bide my time until they are done cause the little brother is a cutie when she is not around and I do not want to loose him!

Hope you can sort out quiet time .... cause I am thinking if my above family had quiet time issues they would be gone - I can deal with a lot of things behaviour wise but do not mess with my money or my lunch break

[mom-in-alberta]

As the mom of a 4 (5 in July) year old girl.... I can just say that this is, indeed, a difficult age at times. I don't remember half as many issues with my boys at the age of 4 as I have with my oldest girl.
I think that you are doing the right thing in being firm and consistent. She knows the rules, she is just testing them. And I also think switching the Leapster to AFTER rest/quiet time will help. SHe will have to earn that privilege. And if she doesn't, then no Leapster.
Hope that it gets better!

[gcj]

Thanks everyone. Just your encouraging words help. It's very draining. It's been the same thing at drooff the last 2 mornings. This am it happened at the same time we all had to go to my son's bus, so I literally had to carry her as she was kicking me in the gut and screaming. Another mom arrived at that time, too....talk about embarassing! My daughter's preschool bus somehow forgot her, so we had to be on the lookout for 2 buses in 2 spots....let's just say that by 9am I was done!
Now we'll wait and see what happens at 1. I anticipate the same thing, and honestly hope for it a little just because mom said that if she's good today she can go to work with her tomorrow...and I don't think she deserves it either way. And it'll set us back yet again. I'll tell mom that based only on this morning, she DID NOT earn it and by taking her to work tomorrow she's telling her that her behaviour at dropoff was acceptable.
Contract renewals are in 1 month and she's not helping herself!