Angels turn into devils when mom arrives

[Dreamalittledream]

I have 2 DCBs, aged 2 1/2 & 3 1/2 (brothers) and a 2 year old DCG who are wonderful kids all day...but when their Mom's come to pick up the horns come out. The mom's try to visit a bit and honestly, I am just wishing they would all get the heck out! The 2 boys suddenly get into everything they shouldn't and whine and cry...the girl just throws a complete fit. Once they get upstairs (our playroom is in the basement, where I remain with the other kids until everyone is picked up) I can hear them stomping all over my kitchen and living room! Today, the 3 1/2 year old ran out ahead of his mother onto the road (not the first time at all...my husband, fortunately was just coming iphome and stopped him). Meanwhile, her 8 year old keeps picking my tulips (mom laughs it off)! As for the girl...mom has actually asked me to get her to do something (put her coat on) because she just won't listen to her. I am so frustrated...I feel like just saying to them "control your freakin' kids"!!

[Momof4]

First of all - respect should be taught to that 8 year old from her mother NOT to ruin other people's things including their gardens. That makes me mad because I love my garden. Maybe the mother needs to have rules and learn to be a parent? There is a lot of that going around these days, so sad.

As far as the little boys, I have one like that who I called my Jeckyll & Hyde boy because he went through a long phase while he was 3 of turning into a kid I didn't recognize in front of his Mom at dropoff & pickup time but was an angel for me all day long. Why? Because he knows he has to follow my rules or pay the price - actions have consequences. I try to tell my dcparents who are not parenting that it is ok to take control of their home when I can see for a fact that the child has control of the family.

You have to give this mother some tips! Maybe she will learn and appreciate your help or maybe she won't but she will pay the price because the children are controlling her home. When my little boy was going through that phase I had his shoes & coat on and at the door for his Mom and rushed them out as quickly as possible. If I were you I would have them at the road, past your garden for pickup!

[Dreamalittledream]

You have to give this mother some tips! Maybe she will learn and appreciate your help
I had his shoes & coat on and at the door for his Mom and rushed them out as quickly as possible. If I were you I would have them at the road, past your garden for pickup!

Oh I so wish I could have them ready & at the door every day! But, unless they are last pickup (all my parents pick up b/w 4 & 4:15) I have to remain down in play area with the others. On days when the weather cooperates I do take them all back outside for the last hour...makes it nice for the parents too that they are all dressed and ready to go!
As for tips; I've certainly tried to gently suggest...such as I say how good all 6 are patiently sitting on my front hall bench while I get the next one's outdoor gear on (as in, perhaps you could get your children to sit on their bums too instead of running all over my house in boots or outside in traffic?!). But it's a fine line not to cross telling one how to parent, huh? I do know how it is; we have a 2 1/2 year old that everyone tells me is an angel to care for...but he sure knows how to test Momma all day

[Inspired by Reggio]

Call me an assertive bitch but I would do just that - come upstairs and say to the children in my ice but firm voice "x and y you need to stop now - at Reggios house you know we do not run around with boots on cause babies crawl on these floors plus you could hurt yourself - the rule at my house at dressing time is you sit on your bum on the bench until everyone is ready to go outside and when the grown tells you than you can get up. You need to listen to mommy at pick up or you will have to stop playing before mommy comes and Reggio will have you sitting on the bench ready to go for mommy at pick until you can show us you are ready to listen and respect mommy and follow my house rules!"

And I have done that ... had everyone upstairs for pick up time doing quiet activities at the kitchen table with two of my wild sibling set sitting all dressed on the step for thier parent cause they are missing out on the fun we are having at table - when parent comes they get shooed out the door and I do that a couple days and when they go home gracefully we try again with parent attempting to pick up - if it devolved again I say to the parent the next time - this is not acceptable behavior in my home and I cannot keep having them ready for you to avoid this cause it is not fair to the kids - you cannot allow them to dispresect my home or you this way.

Honestly do not care how they behave outside my home or now people want to parent at home as long as it does not affect ME cause while in my house or on my property where my charges can see and hear you or where I am going to potentially be liable for an accident or injury - you follow MY HOUSE RULES ... and it is my right to enforce those whether your are 2 feet tall or 6 feet tall

You not liking that you go do business elsewhere!!!

Seriously not allowing non parenting in my home - nope nope nope - cuase it is like a virus - kids see little Johnny acting like that and getting away with it and them they try it too and before you know it you have pick up or drop off mayhem!

Children are competent capable individuals - they generally want to behave and please impress adults - even my 11 month old is sitting at the cubbies waiting now cause I would allow him to try to sit with the bigger kids - if he crawled away he went back on his booster seat with a quiet but firm "we sit on bums and wait for friends" ...he would cry in the booster cause he wanted to be with kids - next day we try again second he starts to move to crawl I do the "ah ah you dont want to go on your chair do you?" he sits back on his bum most days when he did not back in the chair - took a week to "get it" ... sadly he sits better now than my one 4 year old who I often have to redirect to focus and get dressed

My long winded point is this is your home you do not have to allow mayhem in it??

[lilac]

I had a couple of girls who were like that.... although the oldest was not well behaved with me during the day either... but they went nuts when mom showed up, hitting eachother, yelling at eachother and mom, refusing to put their stuff on. The oldest would even try to grab the younger sister around the neck to choke her if she got mad at her. Honestly, little B-R-A-T-Ts when mom showed up, only mom, on the rare occasion dad showed, they were fine, or when their aunt came to p/u they were fine.

I would remind them close to home time to behave for mum, she's been working all day, she misses them, and she just wants hugs and kisses instead of yelling and fighting (they were 4 and 6). Beyond that, as long as they arent behaving like that for me, I couldnt care less if they were little monsters at home. There was no way I was going to tell their mom how to parent her kids. This mom in particular would not have it even if I had the nerve to do it!

[little rascals]

What I do for pick up is tell the parents to text when they are on the way and I get the kids dressed and ready to go. I too run my dayhome in the basement and cuts on time upstairs at the door. So far the kids have been ok. I'm sure if i didn't have them ready it would a lot of extra time at the door. My husband is usually home from work when pickups happen so he stays downstairs with the others and I quickly go up. The parents know I have other kids downstairs do they try to be quick too. So far I have been lucky I guess.

[Mamma_Mia]

Call me an assertive bitch but I would do just that - come upstairs and say to the children in my ice but firm voice "x and y you need to stop now - at Reggios house you know we do not run around with boots on cause babies crawl on these floors plus you could hurt yourself - the rule at my house at dressing time is you sit on your bum on the bench until everyone is ready to go outside and when the grown tells you than you can get up. You need to listen to mommy at pick up or you will have to stop playing before mommy comes and Reggio will have you sitting on the bench ready to go for mommy at pick until you can show us you are ready to listen and respect mommy and follow my house rules!"

Yup Had to do that just this Thursday past....mom looked at her and said "you better listen to mamma_mia then" LOL How about control you're own kid? sheesh

[Dreamalittledream]

Yup Had to do that just this Thursday past....mom looked at her and said "you better listen to mamma_mia then" LOL How about control you're own kid? sheesh

Agreed! I too have done this on a couple of occasions when they are the last pickup and I can be upstairs...hoping that Mom will then demand the same....nope. She honestly has no control over them, "they just won't listen" says it herself time & time again...both mom's do....but if she followed through & was consistent she would easily gain control & respect. I think I will try to bring everyone up @ pickup time. Great idea. Then I can rush the little turkeys out

[Momof4]

Oh, little rascal's idea of having the Mom text you when she's leaving work might be a great answer for you.

[Judy Trickett]

This is why at home time ALL the kids come upstairs with me (my daycare is also in the lower level) and we sit and QUIETLY read books until the parents come. I am within 10 feet of every kid until they leave and I say good-bye to them with the door OPEN while they walk down my walk way. They do NOT pick my flowers. They do NOT stomp around my house. They get up from their book WHEN THEY ARE CALLED and go directly to the door, put on their things and leave like a civilized human being. That sort of behaviour would NOT be tolerated at my daycare.

Sometimes you HAVE to stand up and be the bitch and just tell the parents it is NOT okay.