Angels turn into devils when mom arrives

[Crayola kiddies]

We haven't seen you on here in awhile Judy .... Nice to see you back : )

[Dreamalittledream]

Sometimes you HAVE to stand up and be the bitch and just tell the parents it is NOT okay.

I envy you this ability Judy; my husband says the same...that I need to just find a way it say it directly...not assume she is going to follow my lead with them (b/c clearly she doesn't). Working on it

[mom-in-alberta]

Ok; first, it's totally normal for kids to pull this behaviour at pick up. It's a way to "tell" mom and dad that they're pissed about being left at daycare (whether it's concious or unconcious). At the end of the day, most kids are tired and overstimulated and this is how it tends to manifest.
Having said that.... it's not okay!! I have a paragraph in my handbook that talks about this sort of issue. Your best behaved child can turn into a little monster when mom/dad show up at the door, but that is NO reason for the behavior to be ignored or allowed.
My handbook states that when a parent arrives, THEY are now in control of their child and THEY are expected to enforce MY house rules. However, if they won't.... I damn sure will!! I came to this conclusion the day that a little boy kicked my front door into the wall at pick up, because he didn't like what dad told him they were having for supper! (I am sorry that I tell that story so often, but it was a real defining moment)
No, it's not okay to stomp around, scream and yell, or generally disobey the normal expectations. And perhaps if you harden up a little, the parents will see that they do, indeed have (or should have) some control over the situation. Start enforcing the rules and consequences. This is how we, as providers, can help to "teach" the parents what we feel needs to happen.
I often wonder if parents are embarrassed to discipline in front of me? Like I might judge them for it? Let me tell ya... I judge them a lot more for NOT disciplining!! LoL

[Inspired by Reggio]

....I often wonder if parents are embarrassed to discipline in front of me? Like I might judge them for it? Let me tell ya... I judge them a lot more for NOT disciplining!! LoL

Ya not you - I think it is a combination that they parent out of 'guilt' for the most part and many are afraid to discipline at ALL these days because off all the misinformation out there about 'best practice' with children and needing to promote emotional sense of self and so forth being taken so far the opposite direction of having to be their 'friend' and so forth parents have no clue what is 'appropriate' anymore!

My SIL is a social worker - she gets the teenage version of these children who have not been taught how to thrive in social settings or get their needs met without a melt down ... she goes into the home and observes and so forth ... they have no structure or routine in their lives, have no clear expectations or consequences at home and as a result are out of control at school where they are 'expected' to behave because they are TOLD to behave not because the teacher is bribing them with 'trinkets and special treats' to get them to sit still and attend or they are kicked out of the classroom because they were asked to do something they did not 'want' to do and they threw a fit expecting to 'get out of it' .... cause these are strategies that work at HOME with their parent and when she suggests 'action plans' that include EXPECTATIONS and CONSEQUENCES the parents are always like 'we can do that' .... um YES cause if society is going to expect it of them than the home should too and if the consequence in society is JAIL for doing the same thing than being grounded or loosing privileges in the home is more than reasonable comparative consequence - you certainly do not ignore it or reward them with a 'treat' to get them to stop and behave